Ok, everybody simmer down. Brooklyn Beckham’s getting roasted again for his “questionable culinary skills” after he posted a picture of himself in the kitchen holding a puppy in a sling while stirring a pot of what looks like high end dog food with a wine cork floating in it but which I’ve been assured by The Daily Mail is supposed to be Bolognese sauce. But really, what harm has he done? He’s just a 24-year-old kid making himself a pot of sketti as an excuse to open what is probably a $600 bottle of Merlot on a Wednesday afternoon. Lord knows he’s not cooking for anybody but himself and the puppy. You think his wife Nicola Peltz Beckham would deign to put anything that comes out of that kitchen in her mouth? Ha! Let my boy enjoy his hairy sketti in peace!

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It doesn’t take much to piss people off these days because most of us are just one offense away from flipping tables and screaming, “This is an OUTRAGE!” Perhaps it all stems from how free and inappropriate society was in the 1990s, and you really need to look no further than iconic Living Single ripoff Friends for more context. Many of its jokes and situations would never fly today, and one of its stars, Jennifer Aniston, realizes this years after the series finale. In fact, she believes that comedy, in general, has taken a huge hit from the youth who cringe every time the Friends theme song comes on because they believe the entire series to be highly offensive.

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Artificial Intelligence is the next unregulated industry for the tech bros to destroy humanity with. They already did the damn thing with social media, but now it’s time to insert dee fakes, holograms, AI content creation, and a whole manner of other bullshit into the mix! And one company excited to do this–but in a “woke” way–is Levi’s, who announced plans to use more AI content to diversify their jeans models. And now they’ve also quickly clarified that they will still be hiring actual real-life ethnic people, too!–Not just the fake ones.

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Vanderpump Rules fans have seen their fair share of bitch slaps, sucker punches, and hand-shaped red marks over the years to know assault is totally within the realm of possibility between this show’s cast members, but we’ll never really know if Scheana Shay gave her castmate Raquel Leviss a black eye because the temporary restraining order that Raquel got against Scheana has been officially dismissed after Raquel was a no-show at court. Either way, Raquel’s word basically means nothing to anyone after sneaking around in her months-long affair with Tom Sandoval behind Ariana Madix’s back.

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Over the past few years, disappointingly, Bam Margera has traded wrecking shopping carts and April and Phil Margera’s home for wrecking his own second, third, and one-hundredth chances to turn his life around. At this point, every time former Jackass Bam’s photo appears above a post, people likely brace for the worst news, including his good friend Steve-O, who previously said he was done trying to set Bam straight and worries he’s going to die soon. He even somehow managed to vex Priscilla Presley. This time, Bam was arrested for public intoxication after causing a drunken scene inside a restaurant where his estranged wife and 5-year-old son were eating.

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