I’m sure Victoria Beckham couldn’t be any more proud of her son, Brooklyn Beckham, for not only keeping up with his pandemic hobby for two entire years, but also for making a career for himself out of it. To think, had Brooklyn taken up drinking too much and masturbating in the middle of the day like the rest of us, instead of learning how to cook; well, he’d be broke and bloated with a raw pee-pee/woo-woo like the rest of us. Instead, his business is thriving. So much so he’s had to bring on help! And not just in the kitchen. We all know that the concepts of “dining” and “cuisine” were heretofore foreign to Victoria, but now that they are the only things separating Brooklyn from reaching his full potential and professional destitution, she’s had to step out of her comfort zone to defend Brooklyn against charges of under-cooking a roast of beef in his latest
tutorial sizzle reel.
This is despite the fact that Brooklyn’s new assistant, James Beard award-winning “Ex Michelin cook” Kevin Lee, appeared to oversee the Traditional British Sunday Roast enterprise with appropriate care, if inappropriate amounts of butter. Page Six reports:
Victoria Beckham jumped to Brooklyn Beckham’s defense after his recent cooking video caused quite a stir on social media.
Posh Spice had a firm response to critics who called her eldest son’s roast beef “raw” as he proudly shared a clip of the dish with his 14.7 million Instagram followers.
“It’s rare people not raw,” Victoria wrote, addressing the disparaging comments on her Instagram Story.
The “Wannabe” singer added that she will be “attempting this” for her husband David Beckham, and her three other kids.
Here’s the video. What Brooklyn lacks in technical knowledge, skill, kitchen hygiene, or star power, he more than makes up for in greasy splashing and forceful dumping.
Looks good to me if I could unsee the ocean of redundant saturated fats that went into it. But lord knows there’s nothing quite as strong as a *mother’s love, and Victoria’s is so strong she was willing to tell a little fib in order to facilitate the manifestation of her son’s destiny by pretending she might try a recipe that calls for no fewer than six sticks of butter, a few cups of beef fat and a glug or two of olive oil, for the health. A recipe, mind you, I had to chase down on Kevin’s Instagram page (where nobody seemed concerned about its done-ness) because his boss at Brooklyn Inc. neglected to either tag him in the video or include a single written word of actual instruction in his post. I have to wonder if Brooklyn needing to bring in reinforcements means that he and his wife Nicola Peltz Beckham‘s throuple situation with Selena Gomez of HBO’s Selena+Chef fame was nothing more than a failed audition on her part. OK, and his part.
*some mothers may not apply. It’s fucked up, I know. Sorry.