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Open Post: Hosted By The World’s Most Expensive Ice Cream
While I love me a nice ice cream, I find it hard to spend too much on a gourmet flavor when I’m just as happy eating a plain vanilla cone. It’s the curse of having a Neanderthal palate. If you’re someone like me who believes that a $6-$8 Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey is a tad too indulgent, then you are not the core audience for Byakuya. If you’re looking to blow over $6000 on ice cream, then this scoop’s for you!
Alec Baldwin Reportedly Got Pissy And Yelled At A Female Server During An Event
Now that Alec Baldwin is finally free after the charges against him for the Rust shooting were dropped last month, he can go back to his normal life of pretending his wife Hilaria Balwin is from Barthhhhhhelona and being a dick. I mean, he’s been doing both those things all throughout the legal proceedings, but now he can do it without the threat of jail over his head. And what’s the first thing a celebrity does after being cleared of criminal manslaughter charges? That’s right. Berate service workers!
Open Post: Hosted By Sweden Winning The Eurovision
Every year, our European friends come together as a community, find their best (or hottest) singer, and put them in their most sparkly outfit on the most pyrotechnic-ed stage, and have all of Europe judge who has the catchiest and most fuckery-filled song. Whoever wins is allowed to run the EU for a year. This process was decided during the Paris Peace Conference. Last night, Europe underwent its annual grueling 4-hour song contest, and SPOILER ALERT Sweden’s Loreen and her abs took home the iconic glass microphone!
Mena Massoud (AKA Star Of The Live-Action “Aladdin” Movie) Deleted His Twitter Account After Backlash Over His “Little Mermaid” Comments
Rather than make new movies for today’s young generation, Disney continues to rehash the classics and give them the uncanny valley live-action treatment. Just to name a few, we’ve gotten The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and next up is The Little Mermaid featuring Halle Bailey. The film has had its share of controversy, from dumb people getting angry at a fish woman not being white to comments about the lighting to the yassifying Flounder. Well, it looks like controversy is officially part of The Little Mermaid’s marketing plan because it can’t go one week without someone hating on it. This time, fellow live-action Disney star Mena Massoud has gotten into HOT WATER for his SEA SALTY views about the film’s hype.
Open Post: Hosted By The Existence Of Velveeta Chocolate Truffles
Two of the greatest joys in life are 1) eating chocolate and 2) eating cheese. The pleasure one derives when biting into a decadent yet creamy piece of chocolate or cramming a triple-cheese pizza into your mouth cannot be compared. Knowing this simple fact of life, gourmet chocolate company Compartés decided to use this knowledge for evil and create an unholy combination: the TruffVel. And it’s just in time for Mother’s Day (if you hate your mom)!
King Charles Poses With His Family, Queen Camilla, And The Future Kings In A New Series Of Portraits
Hot on the heels of his big crowning ceremony and concert that brought out the biggest and brightest in reality tv show hosts, King Charles has released his official portraits. You can’t have layer after layer of heavy, shiny shit put onto you without having it photographed for posterity. One portrait is of the whole gang, the next has him with the final boss of side pieces, Queen Camilla, and the other features two famous guest stars, both of his sausage fingers, Prince William and Prince George. Sadly, the true star of the Coronation, Sir Karl Jenkins, is nowhere in any of these portraits.