Open Post: Hosted By Sweden Winning The Eurovision

May 14, 2023 / Posted by:

Every year, our European friends come together as a community, find their best (or hottest) singer, and put them in their most sparkly outfit on the most pyrotechnic-ed stage, and have all of Europe judge who has the catchiest and most fuckery-filled song. Whoever wins is allowed to run the EU for a year. This process was decided during the Paris Peace Conference. Last night, Europe underwent its annual grueling 4-hour song contest, and SPOILER ALERT Sweden’s Loreen and her abs took home the iconic glass microphone!

Last year, Ukraine won the coveted first place; however, due to the current situation, it could not host this year’s shebang. So as runner-up, the UK took over hosting duties and held the festivities in Liverpool. For the uninitiated, after in-country selections and two semifinals, 26 countries send their selected performer and song to the finals. The winner is chosen through a combination of jury and popular vote. While that sounds very normal, bear in mind that you can go from watching an Italian ballad:

To an Austrian dance track about Edgar Allan Poe:

This year saw a ton of slow songs intermixed with fast paced pop tunes. However, it was Loreen’s anthemic Tattoo that stole the show, making her the second person ever to win the Eurovision twice.

And depending on who you talk to, stole is the right word! As Sweden was sweeping the jury votes, the live audience shockingly began to chant CHA CHA CHA in honor of the clear crowd favorite, Finland:

It turned into a showdown between judge darling Sweden and fan favorite Finland with Sweden ultimately taking the crown. I have OPINIONS on this because not only is Ireland now tied with Sweden in terms of Eurovision wins (a personal affront to me!), but Finland was robbed! I’ll spare you my ABBA-based conspiracies because even though Sweden placed first, we all know who really won…the baffled viewers of this:

Congratulations to Loreen and the rest of the people who make this confusing, extremely European event happen!

Pic: INSTARImages

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