Will Smith Decided To Let Everyone Know That He Used To Vomit After Orgasming Because He Developed A “Psychosomatic Reaction” From Having So Much Sex
Will Smith is back to give the likes of Kristen Bell, The Rock, Meghan Trainor, and the other oversharers of Hollywood a run for their oversharing money. Will’s new memoir, Will (working title: WILL YOU STOP ALREADY?!), just keeps revealing more and more and more dramatic shit that went down in Will’s personal life. Will revealed that he and Jada Pinkett-Smith once broke up and he went on an ayahuasca binge and then spoke to a sex therapist. And now someone must have got to a different chapter because it’s being reported that he also talked about having so much sex with women that when he would orgasm it triggered a “psychosomatic” reaction and he would vomit, which would completely kill the mood if that’s not your kink. Imagine Will Smith saying to someone: “Oh baby, no, it’s not you–it’s just my psychosomatic reaction.”
Well, it looks like Julianne Hough’s little niece just spilled tea all over future invites to illustrious events like the after-after-party for the 126th season finale of Dancing For A Check and another KINRGY-hosted asshole excorcism (exHOLEcism?). I mean, the Hough family reunions are probably awkward enough with Julianne and her brother, Derek Hough, sexy dancing together in the middle of the barbecue, but now they’re about to get even more awkward with Julianne throwing shank eyes at her niece for telling the world that she claimed Leonardo DiCaprio left her cooze with a sad face. One of the last things I’d want to do is talk to my teenage niece about my fuck life, but if you can’t trust your niece to keep her mouth shut about the horrible dicking down you got from a celebrity, can you really trust anyone? That IS the question.
Quentin Tarantino (bitch, you knew the first name in this post about FEET was going to be about Quentin Tarantino) is apparently making his next movie his last one, and no one really knows if that Star Trek movie he wrote is going to be it. But whatever that movie will be about, you know Armie Hammer, or should I say Armie Hammer’s hooves, will be front and center. Because over the weekend, stupid ass Armie dropped the QT audition tape of all QT audition tapes when he posted a video that his 2-year-old son Ford Hammer can use one day to successfully get emancipated from his parents on the basis of humiliating the ever-loving fuck out of him.
Armie has yet to say anything about the video of Ford eating those piggies, but his wife Elizabeth Chambers did. Armie respects his feminist wife too much to tie her up and get kinky with her during sex, but I guess he doesn’t respect her enough to tell her she doesn’t need to clean up his freak foot mess for him.
File this under: Information Your Brain Really Needed Today.
Kelly Osbourne marched in NYC’s Pride Parade yesterday and sometime during the afternoon, she had a Detrol commercial moment and had to go, had to go, had to go right then. So Kelly went into a Starbucks to piss and she says the rude ass employees wouldn’t let her use their toilet, so she had no choice but to make like she was Ray J and her shoes were Kim Kartrashian’s ass. She busted a golden showers show and got piss in her shoes.
Sure, you might be thinking that Kelly could’ve just bought a fucking cookie to use the bathroom, but then she wouldn’t have pissed on herself and gotten attention for it by tweeting. And even if she did buy a fucking cookie, she still wouldn’t be able to use the bathroom since that Starbucks doesn’t have one!
No, that is not a screen shot of Ben Affleck making the face that his brother Casey Affleck made while jacking it to Vicki the Robot from Small Wonder. I don’t hate you that much.
Ben Affleck was on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night to whore out his Prohibition turd, Live By Night, and during the interview he pretended to be highly offended over his brother Casey Affleck not thanking him at the Golden Globes on Sunday night. Ben got revenge on Casey for not giving thanks to the trick who made it all possible by burping up embarrassing facts about his brother. One of those embarrassing facts about Casey included him fapping while watching Small Wonder. I blame Casey Affleck for the reason why Jamie Lawson went on to live under a bridge.
The feud between exes, Vivica A. Catface and 5 Cents, tongue-rolled straight into Ass Lickin’ Town last year after she said in so many words that she believes his tip may get moist for man booty. It all started when Fifty farted on Instagram about how Empire’s ratings dip was because of all the “gay stuff” and Vivica said on Watch What Happen Lives that it was all just a case of the pot calling the kettle a man booty lover. At the time, Fifty responded to Vivica by saying that she only thinks he’s gay because he “let her” glaze his wrinkled donut with her tongue. That takes us to last night.
Along with Leah Remini, 50 Cent was a guest on Watch What Happens Live and Andy Cohen just had to once again give us the image of Vivica making out with Fifty’s butt by bringing it up.