Linda Ronstadt was one of the Kennedy Center honorees this weekend, and she was also inducted into the Hall Of Shit Throwing Legends when she verbally spit at and shut down Secretary of State Mike Pompeo right to his face during a dinner honoring Linda and her fellow inductees. Linda the Legend may have lost her ability to sing due to Parkinson’s disease , but luckily didn’t lose her ability to stir shit up and let a bitch rightfully have it.
You really can’t take one step across the internet without tripping on some kind of headline about that Joker shit. We’ve heard about how the families of the Aurora shooting victims are worried that the movie may plant the seeds for more violence and asked Warner Bros. to push for gun control. And that Joaquin Phoenix ran away from an interview like it was soap after he was asked if Joker could inspire shootings. And the military is on high alert over this mess, the police are stepping up their presence at some screenings, and reporters were banned from the premiere for obvious reasons. There’s a lot more “Ands” I can add, but you get the point.
Well, I guess Warner Bros. wanted to counter all those serious headlines with some fluffiness, so they threw Joaquin into Jimmy Kimmel Live!. But when you mix together the light cheesiness of a late-night talk show host and the uncomfortable sheepishness of a ~*sErious THespiAN*~ like Joaquin, you get a bowl of awkward. And things got even more awkward when Jimmy Kimmel pulled out some Joker outtakes of Joaquin throwing a little fit after the cinematographer, Lawrence “Larry” Sher, wouldn’t stop whispering about Cher!
Demi Moore let it all out in her memoir Inside Out, including putting ex-husband Ashton Kutcher on blast for being a manipulative cheating asshole slut. Demi even brought January Jones into it, but a name I didn’t see being dragged into the messiness is the name of Ashton Kutcher’s Three and a Half Men co-star Jon Cryer. Demi claims in her book that when she was 22-ish, she snatched a 19-year-old-ish Jon Cryer’s V-card while filming 1984’s No Small Affair. I haven’t read her memoir, but I don’t think Demi tells us if Jon is working with a small affair or not. If she doesn’t, she cannot call herself a serious author.
Well, Jon Cryer wants us all to know that despite what Demi thinks or says, our boy Ducky was actually gettin’ lucky (sorry for that…) in high school. Jon fact-checked Demi on Twitter and said that he actually lost his virginity in high school.
I’m a dog person, but Man’s Best Friend can also be Man’s Nosiest Pain In The Ass – he’s called Snoopy for a reason, y’all! A British couple thought they were being good neighbors to someone who lived down the street by holding a package that came when the neighbor wasn’t at home. They stowed the package and figured they’d give it to them when they came home. Alas, their pooch wanted to see what was inside the box…and found out what a freak in the sheets their neighbor is!
Are you a TV person who might one day find themselves in a one-on-one interview with The Beek from the Creek? If so, please pay attention, because this is very important. Unless you want to dump several minutes of awkward onto your viewers, don’t ask James Van Der Beek about Dawson’s Creek. And don’t begin the interview by comparing his career to his more successful co-stars. That’s what happened when James Van Der Beek appeared on ITVs This Morning (via BBC News) on Wednesday.
James was there to promote his appearance on the British sitcom Carters Get Rich, but the hosts Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby just wanted to know about Dawson’s Creek. Phillip and Holly started out their introduction by bragging about how Katie Holmes went on to marry Tom Cruise, Michelle Williams has four Oscar nominations, and Joshua Jackson is on The Affair. When they got to James Van Der Beek, it was crickets and shrugs.
James reminded them he’s been on lots of stuff since Dawson’s Creek premiered in 1997. It only got more uncomfortable from there. James really didn’t want to talk about Dawson. James kept it cool on the outside, but he was the crying Dawson meme on the inside.
That was like watching a scene from Magnolia II: More Depressing. I could almost hear Aimee Mann singing a slowed-down version of “I Don’t Wanna Wait” over a piano. And when James Van Der Beek finally snaps after being asked his 6,204,937th question about Dawson’s Creek, something tells me he’s going to mutter, “The beek from the creek the beek from the creek,” as the men in white coats haul him away.
Here’s James at BBC radio 2 in London on Wednesday.
Usually the theme of an episode of Dancing with the Stars is: desperate bitches doing a lazy waltz for a check and relevancy. But the theme of last night’s season premiere of Dancing with CHARO! (And A Bunch Of Tricks You Don’t Care About) was: cooch. There were performances by the Cuchi Cuchi queen herself and Erika “Pat The Puss” Jayne, and the hand of some bull rider just so happened to make its way onto the cooch of his partner.