Armie Hammer’s Wife Tries To Explain That Video Of Their Son Sucking On His Toes

July 29, 2019 / Posted by:

Quentin Tarantino (bitch, you knew the first name in this post about FEET was going to be about Quentin Tarantino) is apparently making his next movie his last one, and no one really knows if that Star Trek movie he wrote is going to be it. But whatever that movie will be about, you know Armie Hammer, or should I say Armie Hammer’s hooves, will be front and center. Because over the weekend, stupid ass Armie dropped the QT audition tape of all QT audition tapes when he posted a video that his 2-year-old son Ford Hammer can use one day to successfully get emancipated from his parents on the basis of humiliating the ever-loving fuck out of him.

Armie has yet to say anything about the video of Ford eating those piggies, but his wife Elizabeth Chambers did. Armie respects his feminist wife too much to tie her up and get kinky with her during sex, but I guess he doesn’t respect her enough to tell her she doesn’t need to clean up his freak foot mess for him.

Armie posted the short clip to his Instagram Stories of Ford sucking on his toes. I just hope that Armie washed those feets first, because I don’t think dried toe jam, foot cheese, and crusty corn skin are part of a child’s healthy diet. Kids are weird and do weird shit, but Armie took it there by posting it for the world to see and adding #footfetishonfleek to his caption. Armie also said in his caption that Ford’s mouth pedicure lasted 7 minutes, and Elizabeth can be heard in the video saying, “This is not normal.” But in Elizabeth’s response on this shit, she outed Armie and herself as lie-tellers by saying that it only lasted five seconds and is totally normal.

I spot a little typo in Elizabeth’s explanation. What I think she meant was: but I can assure you that getting attention at any cost is always our first priority. Because if their children’s wellbeing was their first priority, they wouldn’t have posted that video and wouldn’t dress them in Christina and Christopher Crawford from Mommie Dearest cosplay.


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