Category: Tom Brady
Open Post: Hosted By Dolly Parton Already Working On Making 2023 Better For Us All
I just knew Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda were gonna try to pull Dolly Parton into this mess! And here we are. Consequences of Sound reports that Dolly’s going to contribute to a song on the soundtrack for 80 for Brady, that CTE inducing movie produced by Tom Brady, starring Dolly’s old 9 to 5 crew of working stiffs plus Rita Moreno and Sally Field pretending they’ve never seen an Oscars podium before. But if anybody’s going to save that drek from complete and utter dreckitude, it’s Dolly. Shit, she saved the Mexican Pizza AND New Year’s Eve. So she should have no problem saving her girls from making absolute fools of themselves. But Harry Hamlin’s on his own!
Tom Brady Promises That The Next Time He Retires, It Will Officially Be The Last Time He Retires
How does that old song by JoJo go? “It’s just too little too late!” which is probably what Gisele Bundchen began singing after hearing her ex-husband Tom Brady will make good on his retirement promise the next time those words ever drip from his lips. Because when he said it before it was followed by a huge “PSYCH!” as he went on to tarnish his legacy (and his marriage) with one of the worse decisions in NFL history. Tom’s struggles have been heavily documented all season long, and though his fanboys will still say he’s the greatest ever to touch a pig skin since Kermit the Frog, he is finally admitting that the words “I’m retiring” should only be broken out when you’re actually going to retire.
Tom Brady And Gisele Bundchen’s Foundation Reportedly Gave Less Than .1% Of Their Worth To Charity Between 2007 And 2019
Now that Gisele Bundchen has traded herself to a team that no longer includes ex-husband Tom Brady, their massive fortune has been split between the two of them. Meanwhile, a charity they’re both board members on, the Luz Foundation, is claiming Tom and Gis may be rich, but they’re also two cheapskates who barely provided any real money towards their charitable efforts. In fact, the former Bradys, two undeniable members of the 1%, gave less than one percent of their combined earnings over the course of twelve years.
Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For Tom Brady’s Passion Project “80 For Brady” AKA The Passion Of The Yikes
I don’t know why it happened, I don’t know how it happened. Similarly, I don’t know what it’s for, and I don’t know who it’s for. Nor do I know when it happened, or, after having watched the trailer, IF it actually happened at all. By my count, no fewer than seven CGI Guy Fieri’s are featured here. Variety has attempted to outline a few of the basic facts related to 80 for Brady, a movie starring four of Hollywood’s most iconic actresses as obsessed Tom Brady fans who “travel to the 2017 Super Bowl to see Brady on the field,” but unfortunately, their reporting has left me with more questions than answers. The only thing I’m 100% sure about in regards to 80 for Brady, produced by and starring Tom as himself, and Tom’s work wife, Rob Gronkowski, as the inspiration for one of the ladies’ “Gronk erotica,” is that Gisele Bundchen’s jiu-jitsu instructor is definitely getting pinned tonight.
Tom Brady, Gisele Bundchen, Stephen Curry, Larry David, And More Have Been Named In A Class Action Lawsuit Against Defunct Crypto Trader FTX
Looks like Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen have more to worry about than just their celebrity divorce, as the former couple has been named in a class action lawsuit against the now-defunct cryptocurrency exchange, FTX, along with other celebrity investors and promoters, like Larry David, Stephen Curry, and the Golden State Warriors, Shaquille O’Neal, and Naomi Osaka. Oh, no, not Naomi! But wait–where’s Matt Damon‘s name on this list?! He’s shilled crypto too! Round ’em all up!
Gisele Bündchen May Already Moved On To Somebody New After Divorcing Tom Brady
Now that Gisele Bundchen has finally thrown away the pompoms she used to inflate Tom Brady‘s ego and ran towards freedom, it’s being reported there may be a new man awaiting her leggy embrace. Initially, Gisele thought she was getting everything she wanted when Tom announced his retirement, but once he went back to the love of his life, football, Gisele began making preparations for a new life without hearing the words “LET’S GOOO!” in and out of the bedroom. It’s been about three minutes since their divorce was finalized, and Gisele may be spending some sexy time with jiu-jitsu instructor Joaquim Valente, a claim that sources close to Tom think are true regardless of Gisele channeling her inner Biz Markie by telling everyone Joaquim is, “Just a friend.”