Matt Damon strikes again. The man who brought you amazing thoughts such as, “I just stopped saying the f-word,” and “There are levels to sexual harassment,” has a new one for you: “Invest in cryptocurrency.” Twitter has just discovered Matt’s ad for Crypto.com, which started airing in October. In the ad, they compare investing in crypto to climbing a mountain and rocketing into the galaxy on a spaceship. And you know what, he’s right! Like with those two activities, investing in Crypto can go drastically sideways.
Variety says this ad comes to us from David Fincher‘s production company RESET but he himself was not directly involved. The campaign started this past October and is called “Fortune Favors the Brave” and is all about risking it all by investing in Cryptocurrency. Crypto.com has been around since 2016 and has more than 10 million customers and recently they partnered with Matt’s nonprofit, Water.org, which helps bring safe and sanitized water to people in need. SURPRISINGLY, after Crypto.com made a $1 million donation to the org, Matt appeared in the commercial.
“The timing of this campaign coincides with the early stages of mainstream adoption of cryptocurrency, something we’ve been hard at work to advance since our founding five years ago,” said Kris Marszalek, Crypto.com co-founder and CEO. “We’re very excited to introduce our company to a global audience, inviting them to our secure platform with a message focused on financial independence and self-determination.”
Yeah, how wonderful that those timings “coincided.” LOL, bitch we all know a PR campaign when we see one, baby. Matt also jerked off Crypto.com, since that million dollars surely came with some key message requirements. In his statement, Matt says:
“Much like what we’re doing with Water.org, Crypto.com is a cryptocurrency platform that shares my commitment to empowering people around the globe with the tools needed to take control of their futures. They have built a crypto platform that is accessible and puts people first.”
Here’s the ad:
Well, many people now know that the ad exists because it played before Spider-Man No Way Home. And they’ve been roasting Matt for how self-indulgent it is–and baby it really is fucking wild. via Indy100:
“History is filled with almosts,” he says as he strolls past an intrepid explorer who sailed the oceans hundreds of years ago.
“With those who almost adventured, who almost achieved, but then it proved to be too much… Then there are others, who embraced the moments, and commit,” he says, as he walks past visions of people climbing Everest, and the Wright Brothers taking to the air in their cutting edge plan.
“And in these moments of truth, these men and women, these mere mortals, just like you and me, as they peer over the edge, they calm their minds and steel their nerves, with four simple words that have been whispered by the intrepids since the time of the Romans: Fortune favors the brave.”
And here’s what Twitter has to say:
[matt damon strolls past a spanish galleon] are you going to put your life savings into the pretend computer dog money that you can’t spend or are you a pussy
— Ulysses S. Cocksman (@USCocksman) January 2, 2022
You may be zoned out during commercials and not have noticed, but there’s an ad with Matt Damon that likens trading cryptocurrency to climbing a mountain and being an astronaut.
— Chris Finke (@SlipperyFox10) January 1, 2022
Matt Damon doing a crypto ad. Jesus Christ does he not have enough money already pic.twitter.com/mS3tUgJ6HT
— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) January 3, 2022
What the Hell does Matt Damon have to do with cryptocurrency? If they really want an industry leader to help bring in more people to the crypto-business, then they need to bring genius entrepreneur Paris Hilton to the show! Her saying that “Crypto is hot,” will bring in far more new customers than Matt. Her fans may be a lot dumber than his. I think…