Category: Secret Babies

An Artist Outed LaKeith Stanfield As The Father Of Her Baby Hours After He Announced His Engagement To A Different Woman

January 3, 2023 / Posted by:

The two wolves that live inside LaKeith Stanfield — one an inscrutable arTEEST with a penchant for mystery and intrigue, the other a Hollywood superstar with a taste for the finer things in life; are starting the new year off throwing paws at each other. On New Year’s day, Lakeith announced on Instagram that he’s about to make his girlfriend of five months, self-described “exceptionally blessed,” Spelman/Harvard attending model Kasmere Trice, a “#priceyiceyWIFEY.” Hours later, visual artist Tylor Hurd announced that she’s stepping into 2023 NOTbeing someone’s secret family,” and shared that Lakeith is the father of her child, a baby girl named Apollo. Apparently, while Lakeith’s respectability wolf was off traipsing across the globe eating rare steaks and flashing diamonds, his starving artist wolf was eating garbage out of the dumpster at a family fun center and slinking off into the night before someone could throw a shoe at him. Now they’re throwing shoes at BOTH HIS WOLVES!

Continue reading

Grimes And Elon Musk Welcomed A Second Child

March 10, 2022 / Posted by:

While being interviewed in her home for a Vanity Fair profile, Grimes accidentally on purpose got busted hiding an infant upstairs. And since X Æ A-12 is no longer an infant, the wails from upstairs could only have come from an alien or, as turns out to be the case, a second human baby whose parents like to play make-believe. And so, it was revealed that Elon Musk and Grimes made a secret baby who was born via surrogate in December and is named Exa Dark Sideræl Musk, or Y for short. During the interview, Grimes called Elon her boyfriend, and said that they want more children. But on Twitter today, Grimes said that they have since broken up again. So they may never get to work their way toward an algebraic equation, that once fully assembled, will probably equal something trollish like 69 Haræbambe.

Continue reading

Paris Hilton’s New Husband, Carter Reum, Has A 9-Year-Old Child Who He’s Only Met Once

November 16, 2021 / Posted by:

40-year-old Paris Hilton just got married to 40-year-old rich dude, Carter Reum. And guess what? No, they didn’t break up already. They actually made it through their three-day wedding party last weekend and it’ll all be on her Peacock reality show, Paris In Love. But Page Six has discovered that Carter has a secret daughter. But this child was actually only a secret to us because all the spokespeople are saying the “people who this story matters to” already knew. Well, maybe loop in his actual daughter to that list, because sources claim once the 9-year-old girl–who Carter has seen oncesaw press about him marrying some famous woman and “starting” a family, she felt some type of way. The Deadbeat Dads Club really does get bigger each year.

Continue reading

Scarlett Johansson Is Reportedly Pregnant And Is Due Soon

July 7, 2021 / Posted by:

Marvel’s newest magnet for nerd money, Black Widow, is coming out this Friday, and so the promo train for it has been running, but the Black Widow of Black Widow has not been on it. Scarlett Johansson wasn’t at Black Widow’s premiere in London and she hasn’t been hawking it that much. I figured that’s because ScarJo heard Stephen Dorff say that she should be embarrassed to be a part of a movie that belongs in a trash can, and she’s been sitting in a dark corner in her house, hiding her shamed face in embarrassment. But strangely enough, that’s not why she’s been off the Black Widow promo stroll. Page Six says that ScarJo is laying low because she’s busy starring in the real-life reboot of A Tree Grows In Brooklyn called A Tree Grows In ScarJo. Sources say that ScarJo is pregnant with her and her husband Colin Jost’s first child together.

Continue reading

Ewan McGregor And Mary Elizabeth Winstead Secretly Welcomed A Baby Together

June 28, 2021 / Posted by:

Ewan McGregor and Mary Elizabeth Winstead got together nearly four years ago, but it didn’t end up being a big, public red-carpet courtship in the grand Hollywood tradition of two actors hooking up, and that’s because Ewan was technically married at the time. Because of this, they kept things pretty quiet. So quiet, that it was hard to figure out whether they were even technically together or not. Ewan eventually divorced his wife Eve Mavrakis, but still kept his thing with Mary Elizabeth Winstead quiet. Well, yesterday we learned that they’re together enough to have recently made a baby.

Continue reading

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >