Category: Princess Eugenie

Princess Eugenie And Husband Jack Brooksbank Named Their Newborn Son “August”

February 20, 2021 / Posted by:

On February 9 at the Portland Hospital in London, Princess Eugenie, 30, and Jack Brooksbank, 34, became the proud parents of a newborn son. Before consenting to deliver the baby, it’s a pretty safe bet that Eugenie had Jack skulk around the hospital hallways in dark glasses and a trench coat (no, not the same ones Prince Andrew probably uses when in the vicinity of children) to make sure that Meghan Markle and her unchecked bloodlust for thunder-stealing weren’t there with a film crew, both about to strike again. You can never be too careful!

Fortunately, Meghan and Prince Harry were too busy permanently divesting themselves of their royal tooth-baring and event-attending duties to realize that such an opportune moment was lost. The last dastardly and evil laugh, however, will always be Meghan’s because she’d given birth to Archie at the same hospital almost two years earlier. Take that, Eugenie and Jack!

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Princess Eugenie And Jack Brooksbank Are No Longer Living In Frogmore Cottage

December 14, 2020 / Posted by:

That’s clearly a picture of Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank waving to dozens of people on their wedding day two years ago. But that picture also works for this story, because according to sources who spoke with The Sun, Eugenie and Jack have reportedly waved bye bye to their temporary home at Frogmore Cottage. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle might have worried about Eugenie and Jack moving into Frogmore and making themselves at home by switching out their expensive eco-friendly sofas for stinky old La-Z-Boys swiped from Fergie’s den. But they don’t have to worry about sending Prince Charles over to their place to check on their home. After just a few weeks, Eugenie and Jack have moved out.

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Princess Eugenie Has Moved Into Prince Hot Ginge And Meghan Markle’s Frogmore Cottage

November 22, 2020 / Posted by:

There were rumors that Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle were going to make their grand return to Britain to celebrate Christmas with the Royal Family (and that Meghan needed to be in the UK for her trial against The Mail on Sunday, which has been pushed to next Fall), but that’s not going to happen now. And well, if PHG and Meghan ever want to pop over to his homeland for a visit in the near future, they’ll have to sleep on an inflatable mattress in THE QUEEN’s Throne Room or get a room at the Holiday Inn, because The Sun says that they have given the keys to their 10-bedroom England pied-à-terre, Frogmore Cottage, to his cousin Princess Eugenie and her husband Jack Brooksbank. Apparently, they wanted to keep this on the shush so PHG and Meghan had their belongings moved out of Frogwhore (cue up ultra-dramatic music provided by Hans Zimmer) IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT. During that oh-so-dramatic nighttime move, I’m sure the deers and other woodland creatures around there were covering their pillows over their ears like, “The drama of it all! We don’t give a shit!

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Princess Eugenie Is Pregnant

September 25, 2020 / Posted by:

Princess Eugenie has just earned her pick of tiaras for the next big royal public appearance (try to find one you can attach tasteful face mask straps to? We don’t know how long this thing is gonna go, Genie). Princess Eugenie and her husband of nearly two years, Jack Brooksbank, have given the royal family’s publicity department some easy to sell news in the form of a new future royal baby.

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Princess Eugenie Was Really Mad That Her Wedding Was Upstaged By Meghan Markle’s Pregnancy

August 11, 2020 / Posted by:

The world found out that Meghan Markle was pregnant with Prince Harry’s baby on October 15th, 2018, with an official royal announcement from Kensington Palace. Except that’s reportedly not the day everyone found out. There was a rumor going around at the time that three days before the official announcement, Meghan dropped her new baby news to everyone at Princess Eugenie’s wedding to that Brooksbank dude. Sources quickly quieted that rumor, saying that Meghan and Harry actually told the royal family that Meghan was pregnant several days before Eugenie’s wedding. But according to the ten-millionth published excerpt from Finding Freedom (a bunch of which I’ll get into after the cut), the first rumor was allegedly the accurate one.

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Prince Andrew And Sarah Ferguson Are Facing Legal Action Over Their Failure To Pay $8 Million On A Swiss Chalet They Bought

May 8, 2020 / Posted by:

It’s a good thing Prince Andrew isn’t in Quoronaqueentine (™) at Windsor Castle with his mom because he’s in trouble with the law, again, and it would be a shame if he had to suffer her wrath in person. And by her wrath I mean a breathy, disappointed “oh, Andrew,” which really doesn’t have the same devastating impact when delivered over Zoom. According to The Guardian, Andrew and his ex-wife, Original Fergie, are facing legal proceedings over missed payments on a $22 million chalet in Switzerland they jointly purchased as a vacation home in 2014. Andrew and Fergie currently owe over $8 million dollars that was due in December, 2019. I’m sure they meant to pay it, but earlier that year, their credit line at The Bank of Epstein was suddenly canceled out of the blue.

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