Here’s The Kubrick-Inspired Teaser Trailer For Greta Gerwig’s “Barbie”

December 16, 2022 / Posted by:

In 2016 they offered us a live-action Barbie movie starring Amy Schumer and we said, “lol. No, thanks.” “Fine, Anne Hathatawy?,” they asked, and it being 2017 we said “look, we’re still trying to recover from Les Mis. Please leave us alone.” Then, like a year later, they said, “well, how about if Greta Gerwig writes and directs?” and we said, “whatever dudes, You do you.” Then they came back with “OK, so Greta’s definitely in and we are thinking Margot Robbie as Barbie? We getting warmer?” and we said, “we’re listening.” Then they said “Great! And as a reward for your patience, how about we give you Ryan Gosling as Ken” and we said “lol. OK, well in that case…”

And by the time we got the first looks of Margot cheesing it up in her little pink convertible and then of Ryan pushing the limits of CGI to give us the flat plastic abs of our dreams we shouted, “I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS MOVIE IS BUT WE ALREADY DONE TOLD YOU OK IN FACT YOU ACTUALLY HAD US AT ‘NOT AMY SCHUMER’ WE WERE PLAYING HARD TO GET THIS WHOLE TIME!” So giving us a teaser trailer today that pays homage to Stanley Kubrick‘s 2001: A Space Odyssey With Torpedo Tits featuring a voiceover from Dame Helen Mirren was a completely unnecessary but a welcome treat. So here it is, six years after that first “lol, no,” here’s the teaser trailer for Barbie.

In case you missed them, Barbie also stars (via Variety): Will Ferrell, Emma Mackey, Connor Swindells, Nicola Coughlan, Emerald Fennell, Kate McKinnon, Michael Cera, Simu Liu, America Ferrera, Ncuti Gatwa, Issa Rae, Kingsley Ben-Adir, Rhea Perlman, Sharon Rooney, Scott Evans, Ana Cruz Kayne, Ritu Arya, and Jamie Demetriou. Judging from the positive reactions to the trailer on Twitter, it would seem that good things really do come to those who wait for Ryan Gosling to wax his chest.

The trailer was played ahead of showings of Avatar: The Drowned World Tour and shares a release date with Oppenheimer, resulting in many iterations on a theme.

Meanwhile, many a learned cinephile wondered if the kids would get the Kubrick reference and went out of their way to let you know that they did.

Unfortunately, much like Barbie herself, our heads are filled holes that have been stuffed with hair, and Barbie won’t hit theaters until next July, by which time, we’ll have forgotten most of this, including that Amy Schumer was once a movie star and that Twitter, on which we shared our funny little boops, ever existed. But in the meantime, here’s an early review that’s sure to stand the test of time.

Pic: YouTube

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