In 2016 they offered us a live-action Barbie movie starring Amy Schumer and we said, “lol. No, thanks.” “Fine, Anne Hathatawy?,” they asked, and it being 2017 we said “look, we’re still trying to recover from Les Mis. Please leave us alone.” Then, like a year later, they said, “well, how about if Greta Gerwig writes and directs?” and we said, “whatever dudes, You do you.” Then they came back with “OK, so Greta’s definitely in and we are thinking Margot Robbie as Barbie? We getting warmer?” and we said, “we’re listening.” Then they said “Great! And as a reward for your patience, how about we give you Ryan Gosling as Ken” and we said “lol. OK, well in that case…”
For the Jolie-Pitts, nothing puts the “f”s in “family fun” quite like “forced foto-ops” on the red carpet for a kids movie with mom. Angelina Jolie unplugged the X-Box mid-Fortnite Battle Royale and told all them kids to go put on their outside clothes for the Hollywood premiere of Tim Burton’s Dumbo. Here’s the twist: They had fun.
Back in 2012, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman, one of Hollywood’s more endearing long-term couples, announced they were separating after 30 years of marriage. About five months later, Louie De Palma and Carla Tortelli called the separation off. As it turns out, being together again wasn’t meant to last.
Danny admitted during an interview with CBS Sunday Morning (via Extra) that he and Rhea are separated, but said that they’re not getting a divorce. Danny and Rhea might not be together, but they’re still friends. When asked if Rhea was at the opening night of his Broadway show, The Price, Danny responded: “Oh, absolutely, we’re really close. Well, we’ve been friends for 40-something years. We love each other.” Danny and Rhea got together in 1971 and have been married since 1982. They have three adult kids.
Danny didn’t go into details about what lead to them getting separated. Shortly after their first separation in 2012, sources were whispering that it was because Danny had been sticking his trouser worm in side-pieces. I don’t know if that’s what happened this time. But I do know that not getting a divorce is a good idea. A divorce means that Danny can get married again. That thought troubles me, because in my mind, Danny is pretty much Frank Reynolds from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Danny and Rhea not getting a divorce means I don’t have to worry about seeing the headline “Danny DeVito Marries Sexy Rat.” Don’t tell me that wouldn’t happen – Frank would totally marry a rat.
Speak of the devil. I just mentioned the Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman divorce at the end of the Courtney and Doug write-up, and then MK lands this little nugget in my inbox. So, nobody could possibly have guessed this, but the reason for their breakup is rumored to be a scorching case of wandering peen. That’s a pretty common thread in breakups and I thought that might be it for a split second, but then I remembered it’s Danny Devito and felt stupid. I mean who besides Rhea wants to get all up (or down really, unless you fail the “have to be this tall to ride” challenge) on that? Just look at his luscious little self up there with his strong broad shoulders, luxurious mane and the finest in footwear and tell me you wouldn’t.
So in an exclusive, Radar.online lays out the whole sordid mess. Basically they say Danny’s been an extra fucker since at least his Hoffa days, and he would promise to make these young dumb girls famous (spoiler: he didn’t) if they would hop on his Wee Willie Winky (spoiler: they did). I don’t know who is more disgusting, Danny for preying on these starry eyed hoes – who get extra points for doing the gold digging equivalent of the food challenge on Survivor – or the girls for pretending to be all into and humping on an old married gherkin for nothing. How completely embarrassing. And then there’s poor Rhea over there, actually caring about this fool.
The anonymous source says that it was pretty obvious and common knowledge about what was going down (dramatic pause) on the Hoffa set and everyone felt sorry for Rhea, who was doubly humiliated because 1) her husband was openly cheating on her and 2) she was already famous when she started fucking on him so she had no excuse. Bummer.
This is when we’re all supposed to put a black lace veil over our face and dramatically throw ourselves on top of love’s coffin as it gets lowered into the ground, because true love is dead and marriage is nothing but a lie. Love has already thrown itself off a bridge, jumped through a window, put its head in an oven, snatched away Chris Brown’s phone during a Lamborghini anti-joy ride, and humped on Parasite Hilton without four condoms on, but this news is really going to kill it forever. Entertainment Tonight says Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman are no longer starring in the real-life show Little People, Big Love, because they have broken up after 30 years of marriage.
Actors Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman have separated after more than 30 years of marriage, ET has learned.
The couple’s rep Stan Rosenfield confirmed the news to ET.
The pair, who married in January of 1982, have three children together.
Little people love is supposed to last forever! It’s not a good feeling knowing that Danny and Rhea aren’t snuggling together in their tree trunk cottage like a baby porcupine and a baby bird staying warm together in the winter. I’m not going to bring up the blind items that claim Danny rubs his slutty foot on side trick after trick. Instead, I’m going to call the nearest emergency room and tell them to have a bed waiting for me, because this news makes me want to buttchug a liquid nitrogen cocktail.