Everybody knows that THE QUEEN had three passions in life: gin, corgis, and horses. She loved riding them, breeding them, and watching them race (she made millions betting on races). At the time of her passing, Lizzie owned about 100 horses, and King Charles got to inherit all of them. Yesterday, the BBC reported that Charles decided to sell off 14 of the racehorses. Tattersalls auction house announced the news on Monday. One of the horses being sold is the filly Love Affairs. She was the Queen’s last winner at the Goodwood Racecourse, just two days before her September 8th death. Sooo, Love Affair is a cursed horse with a sinful name. Good riddance!
After pawning off The Queen’s Speech on her eldest son and future King Prince Charles earlier this week, THE QUEEN managed to rally and get herself all dolled up to make a surprise appearance at the Royal Windsor Horse Show where she spent time chopping it up with her fans/subjects from the comfort of her Range Rover before heading to the stands to sit in a red fancy velvet chair to watch as three of her personal ponies competed. We’ve been told The Queen suffers from mobility issues and is in poor health, but I’m beginning to suspect there’s nothing wrong with her that a slug of gin and a nice cuppa can’t fix, she’s just over the bullshit. Take a look at what she’s been able to rally for and what she’s relegated to the youngins. The Queen is 96 years old, her husband is gone, her children and grandchildren are a disappointment and the colonies are threatening to revolt. Who can blame Liz for wanting to nope out on the pomp and circumstance when there are biscuits, ponies, and the adoration of appropriately posh people to enjoy!
Usually, if you find yourself wanting to whip out your wallet and buy something you saw on television, you might have your TV tuned to HSN or QVC. But Kaley Cuoco wanted to buy one of the horses she saw while watching the 2020 Olympic Summer Games in Tokyo. Although, unlike a classy pink moissanite tennis bracelet displaying stunning craftsmanship for four easy payments of $129.99, Kaley’s equine purchase wasn’t because she thought it was cute, or that she could get a good discount deal on a horse that failed to bring home a medal. Kaley wants to save the horse from any future punches, after watching the horse get punched on live television by a German coach.
Adam Driver is a man of many talents, like using The Force and singing while pretending to eat pussy. Add another to the list of this man’s sturdy qualifications. Along with some thirst trap shirtless shots of Adam on a horse, Burberry decided to level shit up in the promo of their new cologne, and had Adam become a full-on centaur because riding a horse for a perfume ad? Tired! But a man becoming a horse?
Chrissy Teigen Became A Horse Girl On The Advice Of Her Therapist, And There’s Already Been Backlash
Chrissy Teigen experienced a tragic pregnancy loss back in early autumn. After taking a month-long break from social media, she published an essay about her experience. Since then, she’s been pretty open about her coping mechanisms, making big changes like quitting alcohol, and little changes like getting into nose rings, face crystals, and Shabbat. Whatever, just don’t cut your own bangs, Chrissy! Her latest thing is horseback riding. She tweeted that her therapist said she needed something that was “just for her.” And she chose beautiful, shiny horses.
Sigh. Another day, another celebrity horse semen story. William Shatner recently finalized his divorce from his wife of eighteen years, Elizabeth Shatner. The two reached a settlement on Tuesday, and, even though William made Elizabeth sign an iron-clad prenup to protect dem Star Trek monies, she won’t walk away totally empty handed. But make no mistake, William gets allll the horse semen!