THE QUEEN Made A Surprise Appearance At The Royal Windsor Horse Show

May 13, 2022 / Posted by:

After pawning off The Queen’s Speech on her eldest son and future King Prince Charles earlier this week, THE QUEEN managed to rally and get herself all dolled up to make a surprise appearance at the Royal Windsor Horse Show where she spent time chopping it up with her fans/subjects from the comfort of her Range Rover before heading to the stands to sit in a red fancy velvet chair to watch as three of her personal ponies competed. We’ve been told The Queen suffers from mobility issues and is in poor health, but I’m beginning to suspect there’s nothing wrong with her that a slug of gin and a nice cuppa can’t fix, she’s just over the bullshit. Take a look at what she’s been able to rally for and what she’s relegated to the youngins. The Queen is 96 years old, her husband is gone, her children and grandchildren are a disappointment and the colonies are threatening to revolt. Who can blame Liz for wanting to nope out on the pomp and circumstance when there are biscuits, ponies, and the adoration of appropriately posh people to enjoy!

People reports that THE QUEEN missed the State Opening of Parliament where she was to give The Queen’s Speech due to “episodic mobility problems.” In the immortal words of The Queen’s sartorial twin THE CHURCH LADY, “how conveeenient.

Queen Elizabeth made a surprise appearance among the crowds at the Windsor Horse Show on Friday.

The monarch, 96, was driven the short distance from her Windsor Castle home to see three of her fell ponies take part in the race. She watched the event from the comfort of her Range Rover — and was overjoyed to see one of them, Balmoral Leia, win the Highland Class.

The Queen, who missed the State Opening of Parliament on Tuesday due to “episodic mobility problems,” was all smiles during the outing. Dressed in a sweater and collared shirt, she also sported her bright pink lipstick.

“She was in great spirits,” an observer tells PEOPLE. “People she knows in the horse world were being brought to her to talk to her at the window. You can see she is in really good form.”

No shit! This old bitty was having the time of her fucking life. No responsibilities, no heavy crown jewels weighing her down, no nosy people asking her about Prince Andrew and I hear she just can’t get enough of those garlic fries they have over by the Ascot Top Hats stand. Just look at that lipstick-eating grin!

I haven’t seen Liz smile like that since Duchess Camilla stepped in some dookie at Churchill Downs that one time. The fun wasn’t over yet either. Liz also “got a special treat when her great-granddaughter Lady Louise Windsor rode by in the saddle of the Queen’s beloved late husband Prince Philip‘s carriage as she led a parade through the arena.” Sounds like a delightful day at the races. This kind of shit is probably why Andrew was so adamant about retaining his status and privilege despite being universally reviled. Being THE QUEEN’s favorite, he never had to do any of the hard shit. His most difficult duty was to tell the difference between The Queen’s matching Fell ponies, who she posed with for her birthday portrait last month.  Now Prince Edward gets to sit next to mum in the cushy velvet chair eating garlic fries. So unfair!

So no, I don’t think Liz is feeble at all. I bet right after that portrait was snapped, she hopped on up there straddling both ponies like a trick rider from Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show and galloped into the sunset. Just watch, I bet she shows up at the Trooping the Colour next month all flush and rosy and wearing the same “I no longer give A FUCK!” shades.

Pic: Dominic Lipinski/PA Images/INSTA

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