Prince Charles Gave The Queen’s Speech For The First Time

May 10, 2022 / Posted by:

Despite the prayers of Commonwealth olds across the globe, THE QUEEN is not going to live forever. She’s 96, her health hasn’t been great, and, as we all know, preparing for a Platinum Jubilee is the second-most stressful royal responsibility there is (#1 is helping pay off your son’s sexual assault victim). This morning the Queen was unable to attend the annual State Opening of Parliament due to mobility issues, so she sent 73-year-old Prince Charles to represent the monarchy and deliver THE QUEEN’S Speech!

Yesterday Buckingham announced the last-minute switcheroo, via People:

“The Queen continues to experience episodic mobility problems, and in consultation with her doctors has reluctantly decided that she will not attend the State Opening of Parliament tomorrow… At Her Majesty’s request, and with the agreement of the relevant authorities, The Prince of Wales will read The Queen’s speech on Her Majesty’s behalf, with The Duke of Cambridge also in attendance.”

Before today, the Queen had only missed the State Opening of Parliament twice in her 70-year reign. Both times she was knocked up. So it was a pretty big deal that Prince Charles was there in her stead. He brought along Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, and the other future king, Prince William. Charles sat on the Consort’s Throne (the Queen’s usual chair, the Sovereign’s Throne, was removed) beside the very important-looking Imperial State Crown, which was placed on a fancy pillow. Up until a few years ago, the Queen would wear the crown during the ceremony, but, as she got older, the 2.3-pound crown became too heavy for her head. William sat on the other side of the crown, and Camilla sat to the left of Charles.

Charles’ big job was to deliver an 11-minute speech, which outlines “the administrative’s objectives.” He opened that shit with, “My Lords, pray be seated.” Instead of the usual phrase “my government,” he used “Her Majesty’s government.” Charles went on to express how his mother was looking forward to her Platinum Jubilee next month and the Commonwealth Games later in the summer. He ended with,“Her Majesty prays that the blessings of Almighty God will rest upon your counsels.” Whoa. He went there! Mic drop moment. Here are pics from the State Opening of Parliament:

And if you’d like your eyeballs to melt out of your skull from boredom (a la the Nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark), here’s a video of the ceremony:

According to the janitor at the House of Lords, the main difference between the Queen’s State Opening and the Charles/William/Camilla State Opening is that the newbies left three rather large wet spots on their seats. Oh no! They’re so horny for the Crown, they’ve flooded their fancy pants! Your time will come, vultures. Your time will come.

Pic: PA Images/INSTARimages.com

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