William Shatner Got His Horse’s Semen In His Divorce

March 5, 2020 / Posted by:

Sigh. Another day, another celebrity horse semen story. William Shatner recently finalized his divorce from his wife of eighteen years, Elizabeth Shatner. The two reached a settlement on Tuesday, and, even though William made Elizabeth sign an iron-clad prenup to protect dem Star Trek monies, she won’t walk away totally empty handed. But make no mistake, William gets allll the horse semen!

via People:

The 88-year-old Star Trek actor is walking away with two of the former couple’s horses, Renaissance Man’s Medici and Powder River Shirley, along with two dogs, Macchiato and Double Espresso. He will also take ownership of “all horse semen” and horse equipment used for breeding the animals.

Elizabeth, meanwhile, got horses Belle Reve’s So Photogenic and Pebbles in the settlement.

These pretentious names! “So Photogenic”? “Renaissance Man’s Medici”? The only animal-appropriate name here is “Pebbles”.
William is really into horses, I guess, because he couldn’t wait to get his hooves on that sweet, sweet horse semen. Get your mind outta the gutter, pervos! It’s for breeding! With other horses, I hope. Please don’t go full The Island of Dr. Moreau on us, Will!
Luckily, Elizabeth will walk away with more than a couple semen-less horses:

As for their shared property, William will keep their Studio City home and Three Rivers ranch in California. However, they’ve agreed to let Elizabeth visit the ranch to “occasionally harvest fruit” and visit the graves of her first husband and several horses.

Elizabeth also gets their homes in Malibu Cove and Versailles, Kentucky.

Yikes. Quite the leap of faith to bury your first husband on your current husband’s property. I guess she really thought she’d locked Captain Kirk down for life. Even though Elizabeth, a former horse trainer, won’t receive any of William’s $100 million net worth or spousal support, a few ho(r/u)ses ain’t nothing to sniff at.

But, best of all, 61-year-old Elizabeth walks away with the freedom to live the rest of her years without having to babysit a semen-obsessed spoken-word singer almost thirty years her senior.

Pic: Wenn.com
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