Category: Dumb Bitch of the Day
Open Post: Hosted By The Guy Who Tried To Pay His Bail With Counterfeit Bills
No, it wasn’t Kodak Black. Today in “You Really Tried That, Huh?” a man from Maine tried paying his bail with counterfeit cash. Michael Deschesne was initially arrested in the wee hours of Sunday morning. Police were out on a call about a theft from a motor vehicle and found Michael walking home after “an argument with a female friend.” Even though Michael had nothing to do with the car crime, there was an outstanding warrant on him for an unrelated theft, so off to jail he went! His bail stood at $200. Michael told the commissioner that he had the money, but when he went to pay, he presented the bail commissioner with two phony $100 bills. No word on if they were “Ush-Bucks”.
There’s Another “Straight Pride” Parade Scheduled For August In California
Last month, a bunch of attention whore assholes in Boston saw all the love stemming from multiple Pride celebrations taking place around the world and decided to attempt a straight pride parade. Of course, it failed miserably. But fear not, because stupidity stretches from coast to coast. And now, the straight pride concept is popping up in the West with an upcoming rally slated to take place next month in Modesto, CA.
An #IceCreamChallenge Licker Was Arrested In Louisiana
The originator, that we know of, of the disgusting #icecreamchallenge was an underage teenager in Texas who isn’t facing charges right now. But a 36-year-old, who followed her gross lead by licking a tub of ice cream before putting it back in the freezer at a grocery store, was arrested. And he did it to become internet famous. This seems right on track for America!
Goopy Spoofed GOOP On “Saturday Night Live”
As if losing an hour of sleep for daylight savings time wasn’t the most INSUFFERABLE thing about this day already, Saturday Night Live just went and made the weekend worse with their GOOP parody on Weekend Update. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that they brought Gwyneth Paltrow on as a surprise guest to make fun of her to her face yet failed by pulling back on all of their punches, or that they failed to offer a mock PSA on the benefits of steaming one’s vagina while simultaneously boiling water for making organic zucchini spaghetti. Major missed opportunity.
Future May Have Invoked a “No Big Girls” Policy At A South Beach Club
Whenever there’s a story involving walking medicine cabinet Future you know the eye rolls will be continuous because this dude is like a human factory of fuckery. He’s always saying or doing something that makes me think to myself “Is he ever not high?” Case in point: Future allegedly threw a party at a club in Miami, and as far as which ladies he allowed in, the minimum price of admission was that you resemble a stick figure with boobs because anyone claiming to be in or around the plus-sized range were turned away faster than the daily “Baby I Miss You!!” love letters he sends to Ciara’s house.
A Playboy Playmate Is For Sorry For “Accidentally” Snapchat Shaming A Woman At The Gym
If I went to the gym, there’s a lot I wouldn’t do. I wouldn’t walk barefoot in the showers. I wouldn’t try to deadlift the biggest weight on the floor. I wouldn’t Snapchat a picture of a naked woman in the change room. 2015’s Playboy Playmate of the Year Dani Mathers, on the other hand, definitely would do that last one. Dani recently Snapchatted a naked woman changing at her gym in an attempt to get some LOLs, and now she’s in a ton of internet trouble for it. Dani may have a huge mouth, but apparently the part of her brain that makes good decisions is very small.