Detective Twitter May Have Tracked Down The Ariana Grande To Blue Bell Ice Cream

July 2, 2019 / Posted by:

If in the future, Blue Bell protects their creamy deliciousness with one of those annoying plastic security bands of frustration, causing you to break a toof as you try to rip it open with your mouth in the middle of the night because you can’t be bothered with scissors and need that goodness now, blame this SUCIO menace! I mean, there’s definitely a market for saliva-laced ice cream, so she’s not only a dum dum for not getting paid for something some freak would definitely pay for, but she’s also a dum dum for showing the world her crime against humanity, hygiene, and more importantly ICE CREAM!

Blue Bell says that they’re working with the police to track down a terror to ice cream who tainted a 64-ounce tub of their Tin Roof flavor with her tongue. While a friend filmed, she opened up the container, Ariana Grande’d it, put the lid back on, and placed it back in the freezer while laughing about how some poor unsuspecting innocent is going to get a taste of her taste. I scream, you scream, we all scream at this grossness.

After the video made the rounds, Blue Bell said that they getting to the bottom of this horrific act! via Pix11

We take this issue very seriously and are currently working with law enforcement, retail partners and social media platforms. This type of incident will not be tolerated.

And when some on Twitter shook their heads at Blue Bell for not properly securing their goods, Blue Bell said that they’re protected by a natural seal. Well, now that one tub of ice cream’s really got a natural seal on it.

During production, our half gallons are flipped upside down and sent to a hardening room where the ice cream freezes to create a natural seal. The lids are frozen tightly to the carton. Any attempt at opening the product should be noticeable. We will continue to monitor this situation.

The thing about broadcasting your ILLEGAL disgustingness on the internet is that you’re going to get caught. Twitter’s got nothing but time and they used that time to track the ice cream tainter down. Twitter detectives have uncovered what they think are the Instagram accounts of the licker and filmer. And it looks like  this food tampering crime, which is a felony, happened at a grocery store in San Antonio, TX.

Well, for their sake, I hope the licker and filmer are fleeing the country for a place where there’s no WiFi within a 200-mile radius and no cell phones to capture their image. Because shit will get serious for them if they get caught. Not only did they mess with the pride of Texas, Blue Bell, but they did it on Blue Bell’s home turf. They’ll be craving for some ice cream (in flavor: spit) while sitting on Death Row.

Pic: Twitter

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