Meghan Markle’s Best Friend Jessica Mulroney Has Been Fired From Several Gigs For White Privileged Behavior
Over the past few weeks, people have felt empowered to speak up and call out racist and problematic behavior that they might otherwise have not felt comfortable speaking up about. And as a result, there’s a whole lot of people who have suddenly decided to “step back” for some time of “self-reflection” and “personal growth.” And the latest to do that is Meghan Markle’s best friend and sometime babysitter, Jessica Mulroney.
The New York Times has put their star food columnist, Alison Roman, on temporary leave after she talked mad shit about Chrissy Teigen and Marie Kondo in an interview last week. Alison might want to consider using her newly found time off to get reconstructive foot surgery after shooting herself in it by singling out two women of color to call “sell-outs”, one of whom (Chrissy Teigen) is an executive producer on a cooking show Alison had just sold. There was also the uncomfortable “please to” line directed at Marie which Alison swears wasn’t her being racist and was just an inside joke among friends.
Ellen DeGeneres just sent Reese Witherspoon an extra-large gluten-free muffin basket with a note saying, “Thank you SO much.” Because Reese is officially this week’s Blonde Celebrity From Louisiana Who Tried To Lighten The Mood, But Ended Up Pissing Off The Internet Instead. Reese Witherspoon wanted to do something for America’s teachers, who are working extra-harder during the COVID-19 pandemic. Reese announced that her clothing company, Draper James, will give free dresses to teachers. Unfortunately, Reese didn’t think about the logistics, and she was left with a huge mess on her hands.
Twitter has been around since 2006, and sometime between then and now, this weird thing started happening where corporate brands developed sassy personalities. And you’d have moments in which, let’s say, Wendy’s would be fighting with Serta Mattresses, or Preparation H would start trending for “clapping back” at Squatty Potty. Walmart recently learned the hard way that not every Twitter response needs to be a damn zinger, and that some attempts at being funny might be considered very poor taste. Like when they recently tried to cause internet LOLs by replying to a driving joke with a joke about the late Paul Walker.
Last month we learned that Kanye West’s Star Wars-inspired low-income housing project was more than just a bizarre Howard Hughes-ian rich guy rumor. It turned out that Kanye had started construction on multiple prefabricated dwellings, which kind of looked like Luke Skywalker’s domed desert house on Tatooine, in the backyard of his Calabasas mansion without a permit. Anyone who has every tried to build so much as a dog house knows there will always be a neighbor who is more than happy to rat you out to the building permit people, and that’s kind of what happened to Kanye. In an extra-shocking turn of events, Kanye isn’t building houses in his backyard anymore.
Gwyneth Paltrow should pull out an extra chair at this week’s support group meeting for famous Hollywood moms who forgot to ask first before they threw up a picture of their kid on social media. Because Kate Hudson will be joining them to utter the words, “God grant me the serenity to accept my posting faux-pas, and the courage to try to explain it all to my very pissed-off teenager.”