Last month, a bunch of attention whore assholes in Boston saw all the love stemming from multiple Pride celebrations taking place around the world and decided to attempt a straight pride parade. Of course, it failed miserably. But fear not, because stupidity stretches from coast to coast. And now, the straight pride concept is popping up in the West with an upcoming rally slated to take place next month in Modesto, CA.
You should know that this idea comes from some jerk-off named Don Grundmann, who is a California-based chiropractor and herbalist. And of course this dude is an herbalist, because you’d have to be pretty damn high to believe that straight pride is a thing. According to Modesto’s community and media relations officer Thomas Reeves (via the L.A. Times), Grundmann is within his rights to submit a permit for this tired attempt at skeeting MAGA principles all over our faces.
“Permits to host any event are granted based on operational feasibility, not based on values and certainly not based on any endorsement of beliefs,” Reeves said. “So although the city does not share in the beliefs of some groups that choose to hold their events here, we may not be able to deny a permit based on an organization’s values.”
You should also know that Grundmann, who’s the director of the National Straight Pride Coalition, plastered his pretty pink fliers all over Modesto to alert the neighbors they were planning the event. And the event itself, in Grundmann’s words, is being organized to promote “heterosexuality, masculinity, femininity, babies, born and especially unborn, the nuclear family of men, women and children — everything that made our country great.”
A counter protest is scheduled to take place simultaneously on August 24 and one of the organizers, Chris Holland, is not here to play with Grundmann or his gay-bashing goons.
“I want them to know that we will not be silent and we will not be afraid,” he said. “And it’s not just for them to see us. We want all of the people who … keep seeing the hate that this [presidential] administration has legitimized to know that’s not all there is out there — that we are here too.”
The Modesto police department is preparing to increase their presence just in case the event is approved. But considering that Grundmann, who has unsuccessfully run for a US senate seat five times, is a champion at failure, this event most likely won’t happen. It’s a shame too. I’d love to see the look on his face when he’s the only one that shows up to the rally then starts crying when the people at the other rally start laughing at him and chanting ,”You Can’t Sit With Us!”, because he’s such a mean girl.