Category: Duchess Meghan
Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Have Let Their Buckingham Palace Staff Go
Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s reign of terror is currently fluctuating somewhere between King Henry VII and Idi Amin in terms of sheer ruthless blood lust. Fresh off from reporting that Meghan and Harry flew commercial for a brainstorming session at Stanford University, The Daily Mail is reporting that in the wake of Sussexodus, Meghan and Harry have “axed” their Buckingham Palace staff, and I think they mean for you to take that literally. I know I pictured Meghan and Harry calling all their footmen, chambermaids, ladies-in-waiting, butlers and scullery maids to assemble on the front lawn, chins up and at attention, only to be mowed down by Harry with a Victorian hunting rifle at Meghan’s request. But in reality, it’s not quite that dramatic.
THE QUEEN’s Eldest Grandchild Peter Phillips Is Getting A Divorce After 12 Years Of Marriage
Believe it or not, but THE QUEEN has other grandchildren besides Prince Hot Ginge and his brother (“And us! And us!“, squealed two ugly hats in a field of tumbleweeds). THE QUEEN’s eldest grandchild is Peter Phillips, the 42-year-old, no title-having son of Princess Anne and Captain Mark Phillips. And it has been announced that he and his wife of 12 years, 41-year-old Autumn Phillips, are getting a divorce. And Autumn is from Canada, so there was a rumor she was going to flee back to her homeland. But don’t worry Canada, you don’t have to worry about your land getting overrun by royals and their security paid for by you, because Autumn is staying in England.
Princess Beatrice’s Wedding Is Set For This May
When Princess Beatrice got engaged to her alleged cheating slut of a boyfriend, real estate mogul Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi, she probably thought she was going to get an extravagant Disney princess wedding like her sister Princess Eugenie did (complete with MILLIONS of adoring subjects). But then her father Prince Andrew’s name came up more and more as being a good friend to dead pedo Jeffrey Epstein and we heard more and more about how one of Epstein’s alleged sex trafficking victims Virginia Giuffre was forced to have sex with Prince Andrew. And Prince Andrew gave that interview that should be on Wikipedia’s list of history’s biggest disasters. That caused a wave of shit to knock away Bea’s dreams of waving from an opulent royal carriage at all the peasants who came out to see her (read: the tumbleweeds and crickets, no offense to tumbleweeds and crickets).
For a minute there, it looked like maybe that Edoardo dude would realize that the Royal Family step on the social ladder is half-broken and stepping on it will cause him to fall to the bottom, and he’d call off the wedding. But that didn’t happen, and now People has spit up the date for Bea and Edoardo’s date. .
Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Are Unlikely To Take Madonna Up On Her Offer To Let Them Sublet Her NYC Apartment
I guess nobody ever scolded Madonna as a child by telling her that only boring people get bored. But I guess if you’re Madonna, anything short of doing the absolute most 24/7 is a total snoozefest. In a recent Instagram post, Madame X (see, always THE MOST) offered up her Central Park West co-op apartment to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to sublet and implored them to leave Canada because “it’s so boring there.” God forbid Madonna look at a tree or spend one single solitary minute in comfy house-pants reading a book. BOOOOOORING! But I guess she does make a good point, Meghan and Harry really could stand to shake things up a little. According to People, they’ve just been chilling with their dogs and kid on Vancouver Island when they could be parading up and down Central Park West and refusing to answer to anything other than Prince and Duchess X!
Meghan Markle And Prince Harry Are Looking To Summer In Los Angeles
If you see a duchess wandering around the Warner Bros. lot this summer while practicing opening a Deal Or No Deal briefcase, your eyes won’t be deceiving you! It will probably be THEE Meghan Markle rehearsing her way back to financial independence – minus the fleet of taxpayer-funded security behind her. Prince Harry and Meghan are currently holed up in Canada, but sources say they could be spending the summer in L.A. – and Meghan is on the hunt for work.
Princesses Beatrice And Eugenie Could Pick Up The Royal Slack Left By Prince Harry And Meghan Markle
Hello! Magazine says that now that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have quit their “jobs” as full-time royals and will mostly live in Canada, someone has to take over their roles of waving and smiling at the peasants at the opening of a park, or something. One royal biographer believes that Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie, the daughters of The Original Fergie and Prince Andrew, will be moved up from B royals to A royals and put their waving hands to good use.