Category: Duchess Meghan

Trump Called Duchess Meghan “Nasty” But Claims He Didn’t (He Did)

June 2, 2019 / Posted by:

Dictator-appreciative  Trump will brook no dislike of him, especially from a woman. In an interview on Friday, he was informed of Duchess Meghan’s previous vow to move to Canada if he won the election in 2016. Well, he did but Meghan switched up her plans and became a Duchess in the UK instead. Same difference.

The Sun brought up what Meghan said to the Creep-In-Chief’s attention and he handled it with his usual dignified aplomb and maturity by referring to her as “nasty.” This might make his lunch with Meghan’s husband Prince Harry tomorrow a little awkward.

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Duchess Meghan And Prince Hot Ginge Are Splitting From Their Joint Charity With Duchess Kate And Prince William 

May 31, 2019 / Posted by:

It’s been a minute since we heard about how Prince Hot Ginge and Prince William end family dinners trying to pull at each other’s non-hair while scrapping on top of the table as the Duchesses take off their borrowed-from-the-Princess-Diana-collection earrings in preparation to tap in and THE QUEEN shouts, “Whoop that trick!“, to whichever grandson she favors the most at the time (SPOILER ALERT: PHG. It’s always PHG). Meanwhile, Prince George takes bets at the kids’ table from Charlotte, Louis, Master Archie, and Prince Philip.

After a little break, the Battle of the Royal Bald Spots is back on, and in this round, the Fab Four is no more as Meghan and PHG are making moves to split from the Royal Foundation. “That’s right, bitches, skedaddle off and start the much more fitting HO-yal Foundation,” screamed Prince William, probably.

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Look Out New York, Duchess Meghan And Baby Archie Might Be Paying You A Visit This Summer

May 30, 2019 / Posted by:

According to Us Weekly, Duchess Meghan is planning a trip to the US sometime this summer and will likely visit NYC with her baby son Archie Mountbatten-Windsor. Their source claims that Meghan and Archie will visit friends – like the rich and famous friends she saw at her lavish NYC baby shower back in February – as well as seeing her mother Doria Ragland. It’s not confirmed with 100% accuracy where Duchess Meghan and Archie be, but that source says it will “most likely” be New York City. So what I’m hearing is that their visit could technically be anywhere in the States. You hear that, Gatorland in Orlando, FL? You better get the red carpet dry cleaned, you could be entertaining royalty!

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Prince Harry Is Having Lunch With Trump, But Duchess Meghan Is Skipping That Mess

May 28, 2019 / Posted by:

The UK is going to be visited by the Dark Lord soon, as Donald Trump will be coming to see the Queen and such at the beginning of June for an official visit. America’s most elegant man and his incredibly elegant wife are going to sit down with all the royals: Duchess Kate, Prince William, Prince Harry, of course THE QUEEN–but one royal is lucky enough to have an excuse on missing out on the festivities and won’t have to put on her best upper-class British stoic-face and pretend to enjoy Donald Trump’s company. That lucky lady is the newest royal in the bloodline, Duchess Meghan.

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Duchess Meghan’s Friend Says She’ll Be A “Strict” Mom

May 20, 2019 / Posted by:

Us Weekly reports that Duchess Meghan is really serious about this whole “normal mom” thing she’s got planned. It’s been reported for a while that the Duchess of Sussex and Price Harry are going to raise their new son Archie as a commoner. They want to raise their son away from the drama and conflama of being a royal and instead have him live the extremely regular life of your average extremely wealthy person who doesn’t deal with media scrutiny. Well now we’re getting more factoids being spread in the media coming from some people close to the Duchess all about how she’s going to be a normal, strict mom.

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Duchess Meghan Listed Her Occupation As “Princess Of The United Kingdom” On Archie’s Birth Certificate

May 17, 2019 / Posted by:

It took me years and years before I was finally able to list something other than some configuration of office assistant/manager/administrator as my occupation on forms. Now I write “writer” and it honestly continues to be one of the biggest thrills of my life. Well, leave it to Dutchess Meghan to shit all over my little achievements. Baby Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor’s birth certificate has been made public and Meghan’s listed her profession as “Princess of the United Kingdom”, which is a flex of such magnitude, tsunami sirens all along the Eastern seaboard have been blaring since sunrise. OK, Meghan, we see you. Shit. Want to take your foot off my neck now? Your glass slipper is killing me.

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