Forget the hurricanes, fires and flooding the US has seen in the past several months, according to The Daily Mail, the real DISASTER occurred last night in Rome, Italy on the Eternals red carpet event for the 16th Rome Film Festival. No, nobody was struck by lightning but Eternals star Angelina Jolie’s wonky hair extensions caused a high-pressure system that IGNITED TWITTER. Sure, she looked great from the front, especially when flanked by her lovely daughters Zahara and Shiloh, but the moment she turned around, her choppy hair extensions at the back were so disastrous that not even ex-husband Brad Pitt and his trusty hammer could hope to Make It Right.
After The Court Moved Britney Spears One Step Closer To Freedom, She Freed Her Body Of Clothes On Instagram
On Wednesday, as Britney Spears’ lawyer, Mathew Rosengart, was in court searing her father Jamie Spears’ skin with brands that read “ABUSIVE” and “CRUEL,” Britney herself seemed to be unbothered while flying off to some tropical locale with her betrothed Sam Asghari. After Judge Brenda Penny pink-slipped Daddy Spears as Britney’s conservator of 13 years, and temporarily replaced him with forensic CPA John Zabel, she posted an Instagram video of her flying free in paradise and then posted pictures of her freeing her parts. #FreeBritneyHerNipplesHerAsscrackAndHerChocha.
Chris Evans knows how to churn up some attention. When his dick pic accidentally blew the Internet up, he turned it into an opportunity to raise voting awareness. Chris recently shared a picture of his dog Dodger and in that picture, the dog is definitely thinking, “Your nipple is totally trying to take the attention away from ME!”
Cue up Michelle Branch’s Goodbye to You, and pour one out for life in plastic, because Chrissy Teigen got her Tupperware titty bowls removed. They were just twenty years old. RIP to many of the big boobies born during the 90s/early aughts, when hard-boulder-tits reigned supreme. Sigh. Something for our kids to read about in the history books. Continue reading
In 2007, Jessica Simpson attended the Met Gala (seen above with Roberto Cavalli, who made her dress). There’s one thing that sticks out to me about Jessica’s look more than a decade later, and it’s pretty obvious. That Clairol Natural Instincts brown is definitely not Jessica’s color. But for former Vogue digital director Sally Singer, it’s Jessica’s open-faced Chestica situation. Sally recently wrote about Jessica’s Met Gala boobs for Vogue’s online oral history of the Met Gala. Jessica didn’t love it and had something to say about it.
Legend has it that one time when Tommy Lee was vacationing in Vancouver, the 460-foot Capilano Suspension Bridge collapsed, leaving many people unable to get to the other side. Tommy simply shrugged, pulled out his life-saving dick, lasso’d it to the other side, and accepted warm hugs of gratitude from the people who safely got across by walking on his temporary bridge dick. So, you’d think that a dude with a big dick wouldn’t feel like he has anything to prove, but even big dick-havers feel like they have something to prove for no reason. Case in point: 56-year-old Tommy Lee posted a picture of his 32-year-old wife of 4 months Brittany Furlan in a two-piece, and let us all know that she’s so natural, organic, and grass-fed that even Gwyneth Paltrow would eat her.