Chris Evans Is Channeling The Attention From That Dick Pic Into Voting Activism

September 15, 2020 / Posted by:

Over the weekend, a picture of what was believed to be Chris Evans‘ dick hit the internet when he posted a clip to his Instagram Stories and that clip included a shot of his camera roll, which included a picture of a penis. Chris deleted the clip immediately and he never confirmed whether the grainy, low-res penis in question was his. But he addressed the situation on Twitter, and he’s trying to turn that Big Dick Energy into High Voter Turnout.

The 2020 American Presidential election is only 49 days away, and for those with a one-track mind, there’s a chance that this weekend’s dick news might have made it difficult to remember anything else. Well, here’s Chris Evans to refresh your memory while subtly addressing the dick pic that broke the internet:

I’m a little disappointed in Chris. He had the whole weekend to work in a  dick-based voting joke. Like, “Now that you’ve seen my pole, I hope to see you at the polls on November 3rd.” Or, “Unlike the penis in that picture, it’s not hard to get out and vote!” What about, “Did you hear? There’s a big, throbbing election happening in 49 days.” Chris, I’m available for freelance work!

Chris also appeared on Tamron Hall’s show this morning, and when asked by Tamron, “What happened Chris?“, he shrugged a lot and looked like he’d rather check The Hulk’s crack for dingleberries than talk about that dick pic. But he did say it was, “embarrassing,” and that his call for people to vote was his way of, “turning a frown upside down.” And he also acknowledged his fans, who flooded Twitter with Chris Evans memes in an attempt to hide tweets featuring the dick pic.

Chris’ attempt to encourage voter turnout is honorable, but I think he needed to be a bit more specific. As I mentioned above, some people can’t handle too many thoughts at once. What happens if a bunch of people develop a subliminal association between voting and Chris Evans’ penis? People might show up on November 3rd, unable to remember what they’re supposed to do, and they’ll just write the first thing their brain is thinking of. And you know if someone writes in, “Giant Dick,” election officials will likely be forced to count that as a write-in vote for Donald Trump.


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