Category: Put Them Titties Away

Candace Cameron Bure Refused To Apologize For Posting A Photo Of Her Husband Grabbing Her Titty

September 11, 2020 / Posted by:

Candace Cameron Bure did a whoopsies and offended her target audience (Christian moms) with a photo of her husband, 46-year-old former hockey player Val Bure, squeezing her right titty. I know, it’s a shocking move on Val’s part, because the left boob is usually bigger, better, rounder, stronger. Cameron initially posted the pic to her Instagram Story with the caption “classic Val *He approved this post”, before deleting it due to the backlash.

According to 44-year-old Candace’s enraged fans, a conservative woman of Jesus/mom of three shouldn’t be posting such vile imagery. What’s next, a nude video of her doing the WAP dance?! Candace was close to issuing an apology, but she prayed on that shit and changed her mind.

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Chrissy Teigen Got Her Implants Removed

June 12, 2020 / Posted by:

Cue up Michelle Branch’s Goodbye to You, and pour one out for life in plastic, because Chrissy Teigen got her Tupperware titty bowls removed. They were just twenty years old. RIP to many of the big boobies born during the 90s/early aughts, when hard-boulder-tits reigned supreme. Sigh. Something for our kids to read about in the history books. Continue reading

Lena Dunham Posed Nude To Celebrate Her 9-Month Hysterectomy-versary

August 15, 2018 / Posted by:

I’ll just go on ahead and tell you, Lena Dunham’s uterus was named Judy. Judy used to room in Lena’s womb. Hell, Judy WAS Lena’s womb. That is until Judy was evicted back in November for throwing all kinds of parties up in Lena’s insides and generally making a huge mess of things. It’s now been 9 months since the cop docs (that’s doctors dressed up like cops, or, cops dressed up like doctors. Picture your preference) had to drag Judy, kicking and screaming, out of the house. I’ll just go on ahead and tell you, Lena celebrated the anniversary of Judy’s demise (can you even call it an anniversary if you are counting in months?) by posing naked on Instagram. As one does. Oh, and she got a tattoo on her ribs that reads “RIP Judy”. As one does.

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