Category: Disasters

Open Post: Hosted By Al Roker’s Reaction To Jameela Jamil’s Tale Of A Tragic Booty Call On “Today”

March 23, 2023 / Posted by:

Jameela Jamil put making out with her own dumper and heroically speaking out against Lea Michele conspiracy theories on the back burner to launch another podcast, straightforwardly called Bad Dates With Jameela Jamil. While recently promoting it on Today, she was asked to recount her worst date, which happened to be a booty call gone wrong. She told a horrifying tale of boner pills and broken teeth, leaving the show’s hosts speechless and Al Roker visibly disappointed and disgusted–which is kind of hypocritical since we all know his booty once called at an inconvenient moment, resulting in a Keto Diet feces riot while he was visiting the White House.

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Angelina Jolie Had A Hair Extension “DISASTER” On The Red Carpet For “Eternals” In Rome

October 25, 2021 / Posted by:

Forget the hurricanes, fires and flooding the US has seen in the past several months, according to The Daily Mail, the real DISASTER occurred last night in Rome, Italy on the Eternals red carpet event for the 16th Rome Film Festival. No, nobody was struck by lightning but Eternals star Angelina Jolie’s wonky hair extensions caused a high-pressure system that IGNITED TWITTER. Sure, she looked great from the front, especially when flanked by her lovely daughters Zahara and Shiloh, but the moment she turned around, her choppy hair extensions at the back were so disastrous that not even ex-husband Brad Pitt and his trusty hammer could hope to Make It Right.

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“Jeopardy!” Executives Still Really, Really Want Mayim Bialik As Permanent Host 

August 24, 2021 / Posted by:

What is MESS!?!” is the only correct response to the Jeopardy! clue, “This is the current state of Jeopardy!’s search for a host.

When the late, great Alex Trebek died last year, Jeopardy! producers should’ve just retired the entire show and burned its set as a sacrifice to him. But instead of doing that, producers angered the Jeopardy! Gods by ignoring Alex’s suggestion of testing CNN’s Laura Coates and NHL reporter Alex Faust for the host job and instead brought out a parade of guest hosts before settling on Jeopardy! executive producer Mike Richards as its daily host and Mayim Bialik as host of primetime specials and spin-offs. And one second after that announcement was made, a giant wave of bad press knocked Mike Richards off of his new hosting perch and he stepped down as host. Jeopardy! is now once again looking for a permanent host. Mayim Bialik will temporarily take over as Jeopardy!’s daily host, but producers are reportedly working hard to make it permanent.

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A German Reporter Was Fired After Smearing Mud On Her Face To Look Like She Helped Clean Up A Flooded Town

July 26, 2021 / Posted by:

Last week Europe was hit with torrential floods which killed at least 196 people in Germany and Belgium. Bad Münstereifel, a small town in Western Germany, was completely devastated, and soon TV presenter Susanna Ohlen showed up to report on the destruction. But before Susanna went live, she did something really dirty; she smeared mud on her face and clothes so it would look like she was in the middle of helping with the clean-up. Unfortunately for Susanna, her trick was caught on film by a curious onlooker who posted it on Twitter. She was suspended and then fired because that shit’s basically the opposite of “journalistic integrity” (or “journalistische integrität”).

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Texans Beyoncé And Kacey Musgraves Helped With Disaster Relief While Ted Cruz Was Headed To Cancun

February 19, 2021 / Posted by:

As the state of Texas has been struggling under extreme weather conditions and a failing power grid, proud Texan Beyoncé has been shipping warm winter clothing for those in need. Just yesterday, Reese Witherspoon posted a picture of an “Icy Park” drop she got from Beyoncé which included a metallic, copper-look puffer coat from Ivy Park x Adidas’s new winter line. But because Beyoncé isn’t 2021’s most colossal asshole, her BeyGood foundation is also helping Texans with disaster relief. Obviously, 2021’s most colossal asshole (to date) is Ted Cruz who thought it would be a good idea to abandon his constituents in the midst of one of the worst natural and man-made disasters in the state’s history to jet off to the Ritz-Carlton resort in Cancun only to turn right around and blame the ill-advised trip on his kids. And unfortunately for Ted, while they are verifiable disasters of epic proportions, his life, career, wardrobe, haircut, beard, and face don’t qualify for BeyRelief.

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