There’s a good reason why you won’t see a triangle of sadness on Kim Kasdashian’s hairstylist’s face, and it has nothing to do with neurotoxin injections. Chris Appleton is in love and doesn’t care who knows it! In fact, he wants everyone to know it. While appearing on The Drew Barrymore Show, 39-year-old Chris couldn’t “help but to gush over his new relationship” with 27-year-old former tiny apartment dweller and actor Lukas Gage. Consummate multi-tasker that he is, Chris managed to synthesize his love for Lukas, smoothies, and cross-promotional sponcon in one fell swoop. And to think they said it wouldn’t last! Chris even shared an intimate snapshot from the couple’s recent Mexican vacation, in case Drew’s viewers missed it three weeks ago when Chris and Lukas debuted their partnership on Instagram.
Chris Evans has provided the internet with yet another panty-soaking moment. Chris got the internet all horny again when he stroked his long, white… piano keys! That’s right, Chris is musically talented as well.
No, the naked picture above is not the one I’m talking about. The above thirst trap is from 2019. Channing Tatum posted a new picture of his hand (and a monkey emoji) covering his junk. 41-year-old Channing has helped create an entire franchise about thirst-quenching through hot-bodied dudes. Now Channing has kicked his thirst trap game up a notch and given us an “asshole naked” picture of himself on the set of his new movie, Lost City of D, and you know there’s a bunch of thirsty tricks who want Channing to lose his D in them.
On Monday, Iggy Azalea posted a TikTok video, letting us know that she still has it and allegedly makes thirsty celebrity dudes slide into her DMs, and write her notes like, “I want to kiss the inside of your butt hole.” I mean damn, that dude knows the way to a woman’s heart is through kissing her butt hole. Unless the woman is Julianne Hough; then be careful what happens!
Chris Evans knows how to churn up some attention. When his dick pic accidentally blew the Internet up, he turned it into an opportunity to raise voting awareness. Chris recently shared a picture of his dog Dodger and in that picture, the dog is definitely thinking, “Your nipple is totally trying to take the attention away from ME!”
Back in April, I prayed to god that we might live long enough to witness Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas participate in “The Blended Family Big Top Corona Quarantine Pap Parade featuring three kids, three dogs, a cat in a stroller and a hamburger flipping robot.” Well, less than two months later, it actually happened, albeit without cat or robot (tell me how it is that Jennifer Garner’s boyfriend is never seen, yet, in addition to knowing Ben’s Dunkin’ Donuts order by heart, I’m pretty sure I could confidently walk into any Victoria’s Secret and pick out a bra and panty set for Ana knowing it would fit and the color would match her eyes?). Does time somehow move slower in Quronatine (™) for everyone else, or are BenAna going toe to toe (X 3 X 10) with Britney Spears and Usain Bolt for the 100-meter dash? Because according to The Daily Mail, BenAna’s already looking at property together.