After The Court Moved Britney Spears One Step Closer To Freedom, She Freed Her Body Of Clothes On Instagram
On Wednesday, as Britney Spears’ lawyer, Mathew Rosengart, was in court searing her father Jamie Spears’ skin with brands that read “ABUSIVE” and “CRUEL,” Britney herself seemed to be unbothered while flying off to some tropical locale with her betrothed Sam Asghari. After Judge Brenda Penny pink-slipped Daddy Spears as Britney’s conservator of 13 years, and temporarily replaced him with forensic CPA John Zabel, she posted an Instagram video of her flying free in paradise and then posted pictures of her freeing her parts. #FreeBritneyHerNipplesHerAsscrackAndHerChocha.
Britney got what she wanted this week when Daddy Spears was suspended as conservator of her estate. Mathew let the court know that they don’t want to end the conservatorship altogether just yet because they want Daddy Spears to hand over the books and records from the conservatorship. Mathew has said before that they want to take a magnifying glass to the books to see how Daddy Spears spent his daughter’s money. Cut to Daddy Spears lounging while making s’mores in front of a giant bonfire of books. And as he does that, Brit Brit is celebrating her latest legal victory somewhere in the Pacific. Shortly after her court win, she posted a video of her flying a plane. Not pictured: the sea creatures below, making the sign of the cross, before saying, “Oh, wait, that’s not Harrison Ford. Forget it.”
After landing, Brit Brit posted a video (set to a musical ode to nut-busting, and I refuse to believe it’s about anything other than that, from Jehovah’s Sexiest Witness) of her frolicking topless in the ocean while trying to keep her nipple knobs from being hit with an IG violation:
And in this video, she quotes her song Oops!…I Did It Again by saying, “Aw, you shouldn’t have,” after Sam says that they bought her an island. Who knew that Sam’s sneaker collection was worth that much?!
Then Britney took off everything except that black eyeliner and brought out her censored Frappunane and nips. Britney also let everyone know that no, the Kartrashians’ Photoshop team does not do freelance work for her:
Britney wearing a handbra on Instagram is not that new, but maybe she’s going nekkid on Instagram as a “FUCK YOU” to her father. Two years into Brit Brit’s conservatorship, there was a tabloid rumor that her conservator dad was scandalized by pap pictures of her hard nips so he laid down a ban on her going braless in public. via Metro UK
Jamie Spears has legal control over all of his daughter’s affairs and now insists she can only set foot out the door if her lady lumps are adequately supported, apparently. The 57-year-old is even prepared to fire a security guard who’s let the pop starlet be papped with her puppies hanging free.
“He hates the pictures of her with her nipples all over the place so he has banned her from leaving the house without a bra,” reveals a mole. “He wants her to put across the right impression,” the source adds to The Sun.
TMZ also claims that once Britney gets control of her own money, she plans to move out of the Thousand Oaks, CA estate she bought in 2015 and buy her and Sam a new place closer to Hollywood. A source says that the walls of her current house are covered with the dark-sided layers of her conservatorship and no amount of sage can cleanse away that shit. So she wants to start fresh. Well, wherever she moves to, her new house won’t have to have that much closet space since now that she doesn’t have Daddy Spears telling her to cover up her chest biscuits, she can run free all through her new Chateau de Frapp. And while Daddy Spears may be out of a job, I have a feeling the cherry blossom emoji is going to work (bitch) overtime.