And this was a different f-bomb that got that sportscaster fired.
Many people scream “fuck fuck fuck” over what’s happening to the US Postal Service, but during a hearing about the Postal Service yesterday, Senator Tom Carper blew out a string of f-bombs for a different reason. Senator Carper delivered an f-bomb party after going up against some pepaws’ greatest rival: technology.
Jennifer Lopez recently did what Jennifer Lopez has been known to do many times before, which is that she posted a mid-workout selfie from her in-home gym. Except this time, no one was looking at JLo’s abs or wondering how much time that photo spent as an open document in Photoshop. People on the internet were terrified over what appeared to be a spooky masked man staring at JLo through her window.
But we can all stop screaming for JLo to stop taking selfies and use that iPhone to dial 911. People magazine got to the bottom of the mystery, and it’s not nearly as creepy as the internet thought.
When I saw the hashtag #AdamDriverIsOverParty trending on Twitter last night, I immediately clutched my chest and raced to find what horrible reason there was for the internet to cancel Adam Driver. The most unthinkable, most cancel-worthy thing I could think of was that Adam Driver had petitioned HBO to remove every single one of his shirtless scenes from Girls, and demanded they destroy the footage forever. That would be unforgivable. But that’s not what happened here.
Last week, James Corden was exposed as the fraud he is when it was revealed that he doesn’t actually drive the entire time during Carpool Karaoke. Which is shocking. Well, he addressed the scandal on The Late Late Show and he basically said, “Yeah bitch, are you surprised? We also film this show at 5:00 pm–nothing is real.”
Wendy Williams has cleared her life of her cheating husband and is officially divorced and moving forward, and now she is clearing the next issue hanging over her head: Fartgate 2. Yes, we were calling Wendy a free-farter after she seemed to let one rip during her show last week. Well she’s here to tell you that she is not a farter, has never been a farter, and will never be a farter–because she is what? A big-burping queen! Yes, Wendy claims that she is so busy passing gas through other orifices so she doesn’t even fart that much.
Sorry all you gap-tooth lovers out there–one of your Queens has fallen. Dakota Johnson seems to have closed that small gap between her two front teeth as it looks like the once-parted incisors are now fully connected best friends. And you know what? The internet has an opinion on the matter. It’s wild to think that people would comment on Dakota Johnson changing her own physical appearance since the Internet usually doesn’t notice these thing.