Category: Tell Us What You Really Think
Chaka Khan Blasts Rolling Stone’s Greatest Singers List By Offering Her Thoughts On Mary J. Blige, Adele, Mariah Carey, And More
Rolling Stone‘s 200 Greatest Singers list was a huge flop because they failed to include THE GREAT SINGUH IN DA WORLD Celine Dion. However, they got a few names right, even if one of those singers, cantankerous chanteuse Chaka Khan, believes the entire list wasn’t worth her time to read. We already know she’s prepared to throw hands the next time she sees Kanye West. And now there’s a brand new Soul Train line of folks, including Adele, Mariah Carey, and Mary J. Blige doing the Running Man towards Chaka’s house to ask her about her most recent comments. Because Chaka has apparently retired from singing to become a librarian because of the way she reads these girls like a best-selling novel.
Sam Elliott Really Hates “Power Of The Dog” Because Of Its Representation Of The American West
Sam Elliott–who currently stars on the Yellowstone prequel, 1883, dragged Power of the Dog and its director, Jane Campion, for doing a shit job of representing the beauty of rancher culture that Sam loves. IndieWire says that Sam sat down for an interview with Marc Maron‘s WTF Podcast and the topic of the current Oscar-contender and SAG-snub, Power of the Dog, came up. The movie stars Benedict Cumberbatch, Jesse Plemons, Kirsten Dunst, and Kodi Smit-McPhee has been nominated for all the Oscars. But if you ask Sam Elliott, it should be sweeping the Razzies since it’s a pile of horse shit to him.
Kristen Stewart Says She’s Been In About 5 Good Movies
Kristen Stewart is 31 and has been acting since she was 10. And during that 21-year career, she’s been in a lot of movies. Many movies. So many in fact, that she’s now gotten to the point where she’s able to rank her past work into categories like Good Movies I’ve Been In, and At Least I Got A Check For This. Although she won’t specifically name which ones she thinks are good but there are 5 of them according to her.
Alicia Silverstone Doesn’t Seem That Impressed With “Wonder Woman”
Wonder Woman is a huge success. It’s made almost $654 million, has received great reviews, is breaking box office records and getting a sequel. They’re even rumored to be re-shooting Justice League to include more of her. It seems like everyone loves Wonder Woman, but not everyone does. There are some people out there who are shrugging “More like Whatever Woman” over it, and one of those people is Alicia Silverstone.
Erin Moran’s Brother Didn’t Hold Back While Shitting On Chachi And Chachi’s “Tiny” Dick
If Erin Moran’s brother is telling the truth, then in that picture above, she may be thinking to herself, “I wish I could get on something like that instead of getting on Chachi’s baby carrot cock,” while staring at hot dogs on the craft service table.
Somewhere in heaven last night, Erin Moran grabbed a bag of popcorn and sat in the front row to watch her brother read a motherfucker like the climax in a Jackie Collins novel. I think that Scott Baio might technically be a flatworm now because Erin’s older brother, Tony Moran, tore him several new assholes. Tony went after Scott on Facebook and Twitter for publicly bringing up the rumor that Erin died of a heroin overdose and also mouth shitting out a river of sanctimonious diarrhea about booze, drugs and addicts. When the Coroner’s Office announced that Erin most likely died of stage 4 cancer complications, Scott whined about how the media is making him out to be the fuck fart he is and also said that he would’ve never said what he said if he knew she had a terminal disease. Tony Moran has taken Scott’s apology, rolled it up, handed it back to him and told himself to dry fuck himself with it.
As Expected, Chelsea Handler Really Has The Sads Over The End Of Brangelina
Yesterday, my thoughts and prayers were with the president of the West Coast chapter of the Brangeloonies, Chelsea Hander, because I know that Brangelina is her favorite couple in the history of love. Chelsea has said time and time again that Angelina Jolie has a wonderful soul, a kind spirit, is a girl’s girl and she wishes they were best friends. So I just knew that all day yesterday, Chelsea was probably crying out hot vodka tears while she lay in the fetal position on her bathroom floor and punched at the sky as she screamed, “Why, God, why?!” (Side note: I’m jealous of Chelsea’s dog, because I wish I could get drunk for free by licking up her vodka tears.)
I thought that Chelsea would need to take a lengthy sad-bbatical to deal with the break-up of Brangelina, but she somehow pulled her emotions together and was able to shoot an episode of her Netflix show. As her dried and chapped tear ducts quivered (since she already cried out all the liquid in her body), Chelsea gave a heartfelt eulogy for Brangelina. And of course, I mean the opposite of all of that since Chelsea hates St. Angie more than she’d hate getting eaten out by a piranha with an overbite.