The Queen’s Official Cause Of Death Is “Old Age”

September 29, 2022 / Posted by:

It’s been three weeks since THE QUEEN passed away at age 96, and the cause of death is finally in: she ODed on tea and crumpets! Just joshin’, Lizzie actually passed away due to “old age,” same as her husband Prince Philip. People reports that the National Records of Scotland published this extremely shocking info in a document released today. Official time of death? 3:10 pm. So, if you popped a baby outta your cooch on September 8 at 3:11 PM (Greenwich Mean Time), congratulations! There’s a very good chance you’ll be raising a reincarnated royal.

Queen Elizabeth’s death came after a year of various health issues. Last October, she began appearing in public with a walking cane. The same month, she canceled a scheduled trip to Northern Ireland after spending a night in the hospital. In November, the Queen decided not to appear at the Remembrance Day ceremony due to a sprained back. The next month, she didn’t celebrate Christmas with her family at Sandringham, partially due to the Omnicron surge.

But COVID came for the Royals in February. Two days before Prince Charles King Charles III and Camilla, Queen Consort, tested positive, Charles had met with his mumsy.  After a week of being closely monitored, the Queen was given the go-ahead to return to her royal duties, but just a few days later she tested positive. She recovered but skipped the Annual Commonwealth Day service the following month. At the end of March, she managed to attend Prince Philip’s memorial service, but she needed help walking to her seat. Guess who helped her? Prince Andrew! In May, King Charles III (ugh, I still hate writing that), subbed in for his mum at the annual State Opening of Parliament after she called in sick due to mobility issues.

But the Queen’s BIG event for 2022 was her death the Platinum Jubilee. She wasn’t feeling so great that weekend (death’s door, and all), but she managed to stand on the balcony for Trooping the Colour (ft. Prince Louis the Scene Stealer), and make an appearance at the Platinum Jubilee Pageant on the final day of festivities. On September 8, just a few days after meeting with Britain’s new prime minister, Liz Truss, Buckingham Palace released a statement saying that doctors were “concerned for her health.” Not long after that, they confirmed she had passed “peacefully” at Balmoral.

The Queen’s only daughter, Princess Anne, previously shared that she’d spent “the last 24 hours of my dearest Mother’s life” by her side. 72-year-old Anne is listed as the “informant of her [the Queen’s] death” on the National Records of Scotland’s document. Hmmm, and we’re just supposed to take Anne’s word for it? Sounds like somebody (King Charles III) paid his sis a cool million to step out of the room while he paid his “last respects” (unplugged the machines keeping her alive). Only the corgis know the real truth…

Pic: PA Images/ Images

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