Category: 2023 Golden Globes
Here Are Some Of The Wet And Wild Looks From The 2023 Golden Globes Red Carpet
Did somebody say FASHUN?!? Well, say it louder next time, I don’t think the folks in the back heard you over the din of shitfaced celebrities using the Golden Globes’ phenomenal flame out last year as an excuse to load up on free champagne, talk shit, and network with fellow survivors of the Great Los Angeles Deluge of 2023. However, a few stars heard the call to bare arms (regretfully, ladies only. Where was Timothée Chalamet with his scrumptious little back meats!?) and used the opportunity to challenge their stylists to come up with a look that simultaneously screams “I’m the greatest star” and “I am being pranked by my stylist, aren’t I.” Meanwhile, the real jackasses pulling one over on these celebrities are the goon-squad of aestheticians going around convincing them to donate their precious buccal fat reserves “for charity.” Sad truth is that only a tiny portion of their donations actually make it to starving children in need. Sorry, Wednesday‘s Jenna Ortega, your generous donation is now just padding for some ghoul’s pocket. Also, I think your parachute got a little turned around. Must have been the wind.
Open Post: Hosted By A Tipsy Milly Alcock Onstage At The Golden Globes
The audience at the Golden Globes always looks like they’re bored and ready to go somewhere else because, at its base, it’s a glamorous work function where nobody wants to become that person. And last night, when HBO’s House Of The Dragon unexpectedly won the award for Best Television Series – Drama, one of its stars, Milly Alcock, must have been completely caught off guard. Because when she got up to receive the award with co-star Emma D’Arcy and director Miguel Sapochnik, she definitely became that person with her tipsy antics that scream, “Blame it on the alcohol y’all.”
Golden Globes Host Jerrod Carmichael Asked The Big Question Of The Night: Where Is Shelly?
Okay, well, the second big question of the night since the first was, “How much pandering can the Hollywood Foreign Press Association do to pull themselves out of the disastrous hole they dug for themselves?” The show’s host, comedian Jerrod Carmichael, addressed that shit in his opening monologue by bluntly saying, “I’m here because I’m Black.” That got big laughs. But later in the night, Jerrod brought out the three Golden Globes that Tom Cruise returned to sender because the Jesus of Scientology is way too good to be associated with such a shady and diabolical organization. Jerrod then dropped a “Where is Shelly?” joke, and some laughed and clapped, but others groaned or stayed uncomfortably quiet. The audience obviously got the memo that it’s now okay to laugh at what a mess the HFPA is, but there was no memo that it’s okay to laugh at Scientology disses. Stick to one cause, Jerrod!
Jennifer Coolidge Stole The Show At The Golden Globes
If you still haven’t seen White Lotus season two, then stay away from all Jennifer Coolidge posts on the internet today, including this one, because you will be spoiled. Jennifer Coolidge starred in the series as Tanya McQuoid, and last night, she picked up a Golden Globe for her performance in the show’s second season. And Jennifer Coolidge’s acceptance speech was pure Jennifer Coolidge. Now, the Internet wants her to host the next award show, but then that’ll mean the ceremony would need to be extended by at least 4 hours since she’s got a lot to say!
Eddie Murphy Mentioned Will Smith’s Oscars Slap While Accepting The Cecil B. DeMille Award During The Golden Globes
Last night’s Golden Globes were a mixed bag of milestones and forgettable moments that will more than likely be upstaged by the Oscars in a few weeks. But one big moment was Eddie Murphy receiving the Cecil B. DeMille Award for his longstanding career in comedy, cringeworthy cultural drag, and many other genres of note. And his acceptance speech was both inspirational and cautionary as he reminded everyone in the room that even now, you still need to keep Jada Pinkett-Smith‘s name out of your fuckin’ mouth if you want to last in the business as long as he has.
Michelle Yeoh Won Her First Golden Globe And Dared Them To Play Her Off!
The now-tainted Golden Globes returned to NBC last night as foretold, and the 2023 Golden Globes did all they could to make us forget that just a few years ago the Hollywood Foreign Press Association voters were accepting trips to Paris seemingly in exchange for nominations. Well, now they’re trying the whole thing again, and I guess they’re reputable now? Well, they started off strong in terms of winning me over since they gave 60-year-old Michelle Yeoh the Best Actress for a Musical or Comedy last night, and any time goddess Michelle gets her flowers, I’m on board. However, they lost me again when they tried to play her off. Luckily, she’s a martial artist and threatened to whoop their asses, and the band shut that nonsense down and let her finish.