Rumors have been circulating for a few months now that Britney Spears and Sam Asghari’s not-yet-even-a-year-old marriage isn’t workin’, bitch, after both had been spotted without their wedding rings. Just judging from Britney’s confusing caption-tirade communication style and her general anger toward any and everyone (like her sons or an unassuming Jack In The Box employee) and that time Sam left her to fend for herself during a messy restaurant situation, many are surprised they’ve made it this far. Adding to the mess, TMZ has been promoting their Britney Spears documentary special set to air tonight that examines her life post-conservatorship, and last night Sam took to his Instagram Stories to slam the documentary for allowing others to tell her story and swatted at the media in general. But only a few hours after Sam posted his Story, TMZ doubled down by reporting that Sam and Britney’s marriage is in “deep trouble.”

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It’s been around two months since Jonathan Majors’ career instantly plummeted straight into the gutter after he was arrested for domestic assault for allegedly attacking his girlfriend when she questioned him about texts from another woman on his phone. Since then, Jonathan’s team, led by his lawyer Priya Chaudhry have been screaming their tonsils off over his alleged innocence. Priya claimed that Jonathan was the real victim in all of this, released text messages that she believed helped clear him (they made things worse), gave TMZ footage of the woman at a club afterward, and vowed that the charges would be dropped. Well, as Priya continues to wave her faulty damage control wand hoping those charges magically disappear, the Manhattan District Attorney added a new complaint to his charges, and more women have reportedly gone to the police with their own stories of abuse against him. And over the weekend, TMZ reported that as Jonathan faces three criminal charges for alleged assault and harassment, he has decided it’s a good idea (not punned on purpose) to get back to dating and has been hanging out with actress Meagan Good.

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Lisa Rinna hasn’t received a shred of attention since the announcement of her departure from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills back in January, and if you know anything about Lisa Rinna, that’s a damn problem for her. At that time, the story was that her contract was up, and it was just a boring, drama-free mutual decision between her and Bravo that she wouldn’t return. But, “Bravo Daddy” Andy Cohen rivals Lisa in the attention-seeking department, AND he’s currently promoting a new book. In it, he wrote that Rinna texted him to quit the show right after she caught a ton of (well-deserved) shit at the last season’s reunion, only to text him back later in an attempt at take-backsies. However, he responded that she should go on “pause” and come back after a cooling-off period. And, because one of Lisa’s most used sound bytes is “you better believe I’m gonna talk about it,” of course she did just that by having her rep immediately respond that the texts never happened and she’s sticking to her original exit story.

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In an interview with The Sunday Times, 26-year-old Hailey Bieber spoke about how she wants children with her husband, 29-year-old Justin Bieber, but is scared for her future kids What’s got Hailey nervous for her kids? Wealth inequality and lack of future job opportunities? No, she herself is a Nepo Baby Baldwin–she knows her kids will be fine. But what’s something that rich people can experience? Online bullying! Hailey–who herself is the target of online onslaughts sort of often–says she’s worried about having kids because she doesn’t want them to get harassed online.

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Every year, our European friends come together as a community, find their best (or hottest) singer, and put them in their most sparkly outfit on the most pyrotechnic-ed stage, and have all of Europe judge who has the catchiest and most fuckery-filled song. Whoever wins is allowed to run the EU for a year. This process was decided during the Paris Peace Conference. Last night, Europe underwent its annual grueling 4-hour song contest, and SPOILER ALERT Sweden’s Loreen and her abs took home the iconic glass microphone!

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