Open Post: Hosted By The Trifecta Of Glamour
I was going to title this, “Dame Joan Collins And Her Little Fans,” but it’s only Monday and I don’t feel like going to urgent care. Because if I called Naomi Campbell one of Joan Collins’ “little fans,” my cell phone would definitely declare allegiance to her by throwing itself at my head.
Who cares about the Golden Globes itself when the real star power, glamour and impeccable wig game was at The Weinstein Company’s Golden Globes after-party. All of us who prayed for a Dynasty/Knots Landing crossover episode got a tiny glimpse of what could’ve been when Alexis Carrington and Abby Cunningham held court with special guest Naomi Campbell.
Imagine the power that was unlocked then Joan Collins, Donna Mills and Naomi Campbell joined forces. I bet that everyone left that party without a man or a company and had a face covered with champagne. Because as soon as The Glamour Villainess 3 formed, husbands broke up with their wives on the spot, crystal flutes full of champagne magically tossed themselves into faces and people received text messages from their business managers letting them know that three mystery moguls just bought the majority share of their company.
I mean, that Louvre-worthy picture of the three of them screams: We just took your man and your company without even trying, bitch!
Emma Stone Really Didn’t Want To Talk About Her Dress Last Night
Emma Stone really didn’t have much to say about that junior prom princess dress when she reached Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet of the Golden Globes last night. The face she’s making in that picture above kind of says all that needs to be said, really. It’s very “Please direct all Worst Dressed lists to my stylist.”
Casey Affleck May Have Subtly Addressed The Sexual Harassment Allegations Against Him
Unlike Nate Parker, the sexual harassment allegations against Casey Affleck haven’t put much of a dent in his awards show game, and there’s a 99.99999% chance that he will wrap his fingers around Oscar’s body on February 26. The only way that won’t happen is if every Academy voter gets some sense knocked into them and finds a way to give the Best Actor Oscar to Bo Bice for the riveting and raw performance he gave in a local news interview.
People Were Really Happy To See Brad Pitt Last Night
Brad Pitt has been sort of keeping a low profile while he deals with the never-ending drama of his personal life, but he came out to introduce Moonlight at the Golden Globe awards last night. Apparently the rich and famous of Hollywood were really happy to see Brad Pitt. Some even got out of their chairs and gave him a standing ovation. By the sound of the applause he received, it was as if he had just told everyone that the bar was rimming all shots with coke or that Jon Hamm was giving free horsey rides.
Tom Hiddleston Shrugged Off The Hate His Cringey Ass Golden Globes Speech Got
But while many sprained the muscles in their face from cringing over Tom Hiddleston’s self-absorbed acceptance speech, I nearly squirted out a tear over how he and Taylor Swift didn’t make it past the contract renegotiation stage. I learned last night that they are really perfect for each other. They both seem to love a shameless photo-op and they both have a gift for making absolutely everything about them. They really were a match made in ME ME ME HELL.
Ryan Gosling Thanked Eva Mendes And Dedicated His Golden Globe Award To Her Brother
While Ryan Reynolds was being consoled by Andrew Garfield (“I know I know, you would have won if musicals and comedies had separate categories“), Ryan Gosling thanked the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for giving him his first Golden Globe award. Ryan took home Best Actor in a Musical/Comedy last night for La La Land, and he filled his acceptance speech with nice things about his “lady” Eva Mendes.