Last night, Offset took his public appeal to woo back his estranged wife Cardi B when he crashed her set, begging her on stage with flowers to take him back. It looks like he has upped his game, but -UGH- this guy. There were 7th grade couples at my school who had more exciting and less predictable make up/break up drama than these two. So how did Cardi react to Offset’s little reindeer games? Let’s just say she wasn’t quick to recreate their old finger banging antics on stage.
Remember Ben Affleck’s enormous “what am I even doing, why is nobody stopping me” phoenix rising from the ashes back tattoo that he told us was fake and for a movie? Turns out it was real. I think we all just got a little taste of what Jennifer Garner must have had to deal with for years; Ben Affleck lying straight to our faces!
I guess this is just the week for messes getting drunk and making everything about themselves! After yesterday’s maddening tale of The Unwanted Wedding Guest, today’s offering comes courtesy of Fergie and it’s a doozy! Please put on your protective anti-cringe goggles before proceeding.
But while many sprained the muscles in their face from cringing over Tom Hiddleston’s self-absorbed acceptance speech, I nearly squirted out a tear over how he and Taylor Swift didn’t make it past the contract renegotiation stage. I learned last night that they are really perfect for each other. They both seem to love a shameless photo-op and they both have a gift for making absolutely everything about them. They really were a match made in ME ME ME HELL.