Chelsea Handler Is Still Brangeloonie Enemy #1

Chelsea Handler must not mind it when a scorned Brangeloonie leaves a severed Grey Goose (The vodka bottle, not the animal. That hurts Chelsea more.) on her doorstep, because she’s still throwing shit at St. Angie Jo’s glowing halo. Chelsea got banned from heaven’s gates back in 2010 when she called Angie a home wrecking cunt during her stand-up act and the ho is at again. During an interview with More magazine (via Page Six), Jennifer Aniston’s long lost sister separated at the tequila bottle farted at the mouth about how there’s certain women that other women shouldn’t trust. When More asked Chelsea what her idea of a non-girl’s girl is, she summoned an ice cold, razor sharp side-eye from Maddox by saying this:

“Probably Angelina Jolie . . . She [Jolie] doesn’t strike me as someone I would have a close friendship with.”

Does Jennifer Aniston fill Chelsea’s pool with top shelf vodka every time she publicly puts Angie’s name on the bitch list, because damn it’s like those two got a bet going or something. I love the shade of it all. But Chelsea doesn’t have to tell us she’s not ever going to make Angie a size -10 friendship bracelet, because we all know that she’s the CEO of TEAM JEN. Chelsea hates Angie as much as she hates sunscreen and water that doesn’t get you drunk. But does Chelsea know that Jesus transferred his powers over to Angie so that bitch can turn potatoes into vodka and Perrier into mimosas, because that could be a deal breaker.