Category: Dancing Machine

Open Post: Hosted By A Bird Dancing To Cascada’s “Every Time We Touch”

July 17, 2022 / Posted by:

Babies. Animals. Drunk adults at 3 AM. We all love a good dance, whether you’re rhythmically challenged or not. Shaking your ass is one of those God-given rights that I’m pretty certain is guaranteed by the US constitution. A bird decided to exercise this right by showing off her one, two-step on TikTok. The song of choice? The 2000s dance classic Every Time We Touch by Cascada. A bird of taste and class, I see!

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Open Post: Hosted By Jack Black Following Up His Performance To WAP With A Sexy Spider-Man Dance

December 1, 2020 / Posted by:

Poor Jack Black. In pre-pandemic times fans would run up to him on the street and scream, “Jack Black, Jack Black, I loved you in Goosebumps 2! Do something funny, please?!” Then he’d do a little dance or play the drums on his belly and everyone would laugh and applaud and cheer. Without these precious encounters to fuel him, Jack the Performer is dying. So he’s resorted to filming seductive backyard dances and posting them to social media. Last time he put on a Speedo and humped the ground to “WAP”. For his follow-up, he’s opted for prancing around in a skintight Spiderman suit. Jack leaps, kicks, jumps, humps (again), crawls, climbs walls, and wiggles his lil’ butt for the camera.

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John Travolta Cut A Rug With Pitbull On Stage At The Premio Lo Nuestro Awards

February 21, 2020 / Posted by:

The dazzling disco ball that is John Travolta’s chrome dome came out to play last night at the 2020 Premio Lo Nuestro, Univision’s awards celebrating Latin music. Why was John there? No one knows. Maybe host Pitbull’s bald head sent out the cue ball signal which, prior to John euthanizing his beloved pet possum, was only ever answered by Vin Diesel repeatedly showing up outside his bedroom holding a warm 6-pack of Corona and blasting Hey Ma from The Fate of The Furious soundtrack on a boombox.

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