Category: Harpo Who Dis Woman?

Khloé Kardashian Admitted To Having Had A Single Nose Job And Has Forgiven Jordyn Woods

June 21, 2021 / Posted by:

Over the years, The Koven has worked tirelessly to make something happen for Khloé Kardashian, the sad results of which were summed up on part two of the Keeping Up With The Kardashians reunion special which aired last night. The sum of Khloé’s Kareer has amounted to little more than an ever-evolving chimera face, and having a partner in Tristan Thompson who can’t keep it in his pants. And unless they are planning a remake of The Other Sister for their upcoming Hulu show/s, the Kardashians are probably better off just letting the Khloé Kharacter fade into a distant memory, much like her original face did. Speaking of faces, last night Khloé had the nerve to tell Andy Cohen she’s only “had one nose job” with a straight one, even though the price tag was still hanging off it.

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New Pictures Of Nicole Kidman As Lucille Ball Are Not Encouraging

April 29, 2021 / Posted by:

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but Nicole Kidman is not trending on Twitter because she broke her NDA with Scientology and has confirmed that Tom Cruise is actually only 3’7” tall. It’s because new pictures of her in Lucille Ball drag for Being The Ricardos have been circulating. And Nicole’s lucky Lucy was no relation to the Gucci Gang, because Nicole has endured enough harassment from shady organizations to last a lifetime.

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The Kardashians Won’t Be Campaigning For Caitlyn Jenner Because Their Politics Don’t Align

April 26, 2021 / Posted by:

Just a few days into her official campaign to become the next governor of CaliforniaCaitlyn Jenner is already proving she’s at least as qualified as Gary Coleman was when he ran in our last gubernatorial recall election back in 2003. According to TMZ, Caitlyn’s already taken a bold stance on prison reform even though she may not quite understand how the office of the District Attorney works. So, she’s not as qualified as Arnold Schwarzenegger was, but is possibly more qualified than Gallagher. And her views run contrary to those of future civil rights attorney/potential one-day Madame President Kim Kardashian’s. TMZ reports that none of the Kardashians, least of all Kim, will be campaigning for Caitlyn.

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Khloé Kardashian Reveals Yet Another Face That Is Making People Scream, “BEYONCE???!!!!!!?!!!!”

September 29, 2020 / Posted by:

I’m not sure what it is, photo editing, plastic surgery, heavy makeup, all of the above (it’s all of the above) but I think we can all agree, Khloé Kardashian loves to turn a new mug. She’s gone through several different visages over the course of recent years and she’s back with another. Like, not the one from a few days ago but an even newer one. But this newest face, in particular, is making people quote prolific philosopher Tiffany “New York” Pollard by saying, “BEYONCÉ?!!!!!!!????????!” Because Khloe is looking… ethnically ambiguous. A Kardashian/Jenner-family tradition!

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Today In No Duh News: Zoë Saldana Regrets Having Played Nina Simone

August 6, 2020 / Posted by:

Nobody is immune from the mistakes of their past during this time of racial reckoning, not even Zoë Saldana who, according to People, is “Afro-Latinx of Dominican, Haitian and Puerto Rican descent,” and had YEARS to change her mind about going full Robert Downey Jr. to play Nina Simone, one of the most iconic women of all time. I mean, her first clue that it was a terrible idea should have been 40+ years of looking at herself in the mirror. The second clue should have been that the movie, simply called Nina, was written and directed by a white woman, Cynthia Mort whose only notable credit to date had been as a writer on Roseanne. At the very least, Zoë should have known it was a mistake when the makeup department came at her with an industrial glue gun and one of the airbrushes they use to paint houses. Still, Zoë enthusiastically signed on to the project back in 2012, deflecting criticism for the decision saying “Let me tell you, if Elizabeth Taylor can be Cleopatra, I can be Nina — I’m sorry.” Well, now she’s actually sorry.

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Khloe Kardashian Joked About Getting A Weekly Face Transplant

May 29, 2020 / Posted by:

Over the weekend, the 666th reboot of Khloe Kardashian’s face made the news, and since the members of the Koven are silicone khameleons, it wasn’t exactly a shock. But seeing as how bleak the news has been, it was a Juvederm-infused breath of fresh air.

Yesterday, Khloe posted another picture on Instagram and while looking at it, I nearly dropped my phone from the weight of F3 (filters, fillers, and Fotoshop, which is a bootleg copy of Photoshop found on the dark web). One of her followers asked, “Why do you look so different in all your photos?” And that’s like asking a cat, “Why do you meow?” It just is! But Khloe decided to “clap” back, which is impressive and her only real talent. I mean, you try clapping when you’ve got praying mantis diving boards for nails.

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