The Kardashians Have Signed A Multi-Year Deal With Hulu

December 11, 2020 / Posted by:

Well, it was only a matter of time. While we may have defeated the evil for even a brief reprieve as the end of Keeping Up Kris Jenner’s Birkin Collection With The Kardashians was nearing, we all knew that the Koven would collect themselves under the Blood Moon and call on their devils for more power. And they have! The Hollywood Reporter says that the Kardashians will be back on TV screens as they have signed a multi-year deal with The Devil Disney and will make several streaming piles of shit projects for Hulu. Just what we needed, the Kardashians making Disney money!

KUWTK will end early next year after 20 seasons on E! but the Koven will rise again, though this time not by the dark-magic hand of Ryan Seacrest.

Disney held their insane day of big reveals at the Disney Investor Day 2020 yesterday and told the world about every single Star Wars-variation Disney+ show coming out and any kind of Marvel movie or show on the horizon. But wrapped up in all of the nerdgasms was also some great news for Satan, as it was revealed in a press release that the Koven will be joining the Disney fam. THR said:

Projects from Kris Jenner, Kim Kardashian West, Kourtney and Khloé Kardashian, and Kendall and Kylie Jenner will stream on Hulu in the United States and Disney’s Star platform worldwide. The first such effort is due in late 2021.

Other details are scant: Disney’s press release was all of three lines and 46 words, the last seven of which are: “Additional details will be shared when available.”

…In making the announcement Thursday, Walt Disney TV chairman Dana Walden noted that Hulu subscribers tend to be big consumers of unscripted series. The Kardashian deal will potentially give Hulu a tentpole series in a space where it hasn’t been as prolific as some other streamers, as well as give the globally recognizable Kardashian-Jenner family an international home on Star.

And it looks like Kris Jenner has already put some of that Disney money to good use. No, she hasn’t donated it to charity or started a non-shady foundation. Are you kidding?! This is Kris we’re talking about. She bought some Rolls-Royce that costs as much as a house (it cost $330,000).

When will it end?! When will we be free of these demonesses?! But since the Koven loves private islands, I recommend a remake of Cast Away where Disney leaves them on an island forever. Oh wait, that movie was made by Fox and Dreamworks… Oh well, still leave them on the island.


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