Yesterday we learned the sad news that 67-year-old Bruce Willis is taking a break from acting because of a diagnosis of aphasia, a condition that affects a person’s cognitive abilities to communicate, whether that be speaking, writing, or understanding language. Plenty of people have reached out with their thoughts on the matter, the majority of them being to celebrate the work Bruce Willis was able to do before his health forced him to step back from a career that spanned over 4 decades. But the tone of Kevin Smith’s comments on the matter were just a little different than most. Kevin decided that now is the best time to take back what he said about working with Bruce Willis on the 2010 buddy cop box office bomb Cop Out.
Woody Allen is in the news again. I’m sure that delusional creep probably thinks it’s good press, like that he made the #2 spot on a BuzzFeed list titled: 26 of the Hottest Over-80 Directors in Sloppy Ill-Fitting Corduroy Pants. But it’s the same reason why Woody Allen’s name usually shows up, which is that there is yet another famous actor who has publicly acknowledged that they really don’t feel great about having worked with him in the past. This time it’s Drew Barrymore, who not only regrets working with Woody but says she now realizes she was gaslit into it.
Nobody is immune from the mistakes of their past during this time of racial reckoning, not even Zoë Saldana who, according to People, is “Afro-Latinx of Dominican, Haitian and Puerto Rican descent,” and had YEARS to change her mind about going full Robert Downey Jr. to play Nina Simone, one of the most iconic women of all time. I mean, her first clue that it was a terrible idea should have been 40+ years of looking at herself in the mirror. The second clue should have been that the movie, simply called Nina, was written and directed by a white woman, Cynthia Mort whose only notable credit to date had been as a writer on Roseanne. At the very least, Zoë should have known it was a mistake when the makeup department came at her with an industrial glue gun and one of the airbrushes they use to paint houses. Still, Zoë enthusiastically signed on to the project back in 2012, deflecting criticism for the decision saying “Let me tell you, if Elizabeth Taylor can be Cleopatra, I can be Nina — I’m sorry.” Well, now she’s actually sorry.
Two months ago, Julianne Hough and Brooks Laich announced they were separating after nearly three years of marriage. They requested respect for their privacy as they move forward. A source recently gave Us Weekly a little update on the situation. And if this source is telling the truth, then Julianne maybe should have added a note that moving forward might possibly involve throwing the car into reverse and backing over any talk about a split in the first place. Because Julianne reportedly wants to remain married.
Sex and the City author Candace Bushnell was the inspiration for the character of Carrie Bradshaw, and both Candace and Carrie have lived similar lives. They both lived in Manhattan, they both got with a Mr. Big type, they were both writers. The only real difference is that Candace’s column was turned into a book, which was turned into an HBO series, then more of Candace’s writing got turned into TV series (some good, some not as good, some no one asked for but is getting anyway).
Basically, Candace got rich and famous. And all the while she was hooking up with whatever dude she chose, she always made sure that none of them splashed their cosmo into her Magnolia cupcake, because she wanted to keep writing and make money without having to worry about kids. Candace recently spoke to The Sunday Times, and she kind of regrets not having a little Brady or…whatever Charlotte’s kids names were.
Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.
– Henry David Thoreau. Or maybe Justin Theroux. I don’t know, what do I look like, a fucking nerd!?
Either way, they are words to live by for William Bradley Pitt. Brad probably has so many regrets he would sign on to do Cool World 2, at scale, for the chance to live afresh. And this year seems to be his year of reckoning for all the mistakes he’s made since a certain Long Tall Sally made his dick drip.