Category: Greta Thunberg
With An Assist From Greta Thunberg, “Alpha Male” Andrew Tate’s “Clap Back” Pizza May Have Delivered Him To Romanian Authorities For Questioning About A Human Trafficking Ring
It’s easy to get discouraged by the state of the world in #thesecontinuedtryingtimes, but much like that wise woman of song and science, Dr. Whitney Houston, I too believe the children are our future. After all, Whitney’s paradigm of progenic potential has already come to pass. Case in point: Former child, environmental activist, and 2019’s Time Magazine Person of the Year, Greta Thunberg, now 19, may be single-handedly responsible for facilitating one of the greatest self-own’s in modern history. And in doing so, has successfully neutralized one of the world’s most noxious sources of pollution, “alpha male influencer” Andrew Tate. And as a bonus, she’s taken 33 gas-guzzling automobiles off our roads and into the custody of the Romanian police force.
Prince Hot Ginge Supposedly Got Tricked By Pranksters Pretending To Be Greta Thunberg
I threw the word “supposedly” into that headline, because for all we know, The Sun could’ve hired a Prince Hot Ginge voice-alike for this stunt, and if that’s the case, please have that Prince Hot Ginge voice-alike call me. Just give me time to grab the gallon jug of lube and make some room on my credit card for the $3.99 a minute I’ll probably get charged.
The last time a royal-themed phone prank happened was in 2012 when two Australian radio hosts called King Edward VII Hospital, where Duchess Kate was laid up with pregnancy woes, and pretended to be THE QUEEN and Prince Charles in order to get through to Kate. The nurse who answered the call fell for the prank and transferred them to the nurse attending to Kate. The station aired the prank, and later, the nurse who answered the call tragically died by suicide. In other words, that royal phone prank did not end well. But two Russian pranksters still decided to bust out their own phone prank and put on their best Greta Thunberg and Greta Thunberg’s father voices to trick PHG, and they reportedly got through and talked to him. Will somebody please pay PHG and Meghan Markle another $1 million to speak at their event, because they obviously can’t afford to pay a phone screener and are getting Guy The Beagle to do the job (no offense to Guy The Beagle’s phone-screening skills).
Nicky Hilton Is Fighting Climate Change By Wearing Vintage Designer Clothes And Taking The Subway
And with that, TIME Magazine has announced that they are taking back the Person of the Year honor from Greta Thunberg and giving it to Nicky Hilton Rothschild, a real eco-warrior!
Joaquin Phoenix is wearing the same Stella McCartney tuxedo all through awards season for the sake of fighting climate change. And now Nicky Hilton says she’s doing her part by wearing vintage Chanel. Captain Planet can retire now. The planet is saved!
Prince Charles Flew In A Private Jet To Give A Speech About Climate Change In Switzerland
It’s no secret that the British press loved to pick apart every single thing Meghan Markle does. So it was really easy for the British press to drag Meghan and Prince Harry when they took back-to-back private jets for a couple family vacations. Especially since Harry and Meghan say they care about the planet. Prince Charles is no doubt wishing Harry and Meghan were back in the royal family circle. Because Prince Charles is now the one getting dragged for flying private to a climate change event. Gosh, it’s so much easier to get away with private jet travel when you’re not usually the one the press is holding a hypocritical magnifying glass over.
Meat Loaf Says He’s A Sex God, And Also Thinks Greta Thunberg Is Brainwashed
In a bit of marketing subgenius, 72-year-old Meat Loaf is now shilling UK Italian restaurant chain Frankie & Benny’s new vegan menu. Because he’s called “Meat” and it’s vegan. GET IT? In an interview with The Daily Mail, Meat claimed that even when he was at his Fight Club‘s “Bitch Tits Bob” heaviest, he was a sex god. He also revealed himself as a climate change denier and says that 16-year-old activist and President Trump irritant Greta Thunberg has been “brainwashed.” No, Meat, that’s not Frankie and Benny’s non-vegetarian offerings cooking that you’re smelling, that’s actually the scent of EVERYONE IN AUSTRALIA BURNING ALIVE IN PART DUE TO CLIMATE CHANGE.
Jane Fonda Was Arrested For A Fifth Time On Her Birthday Weekend
Jane Fonda continues to be That Bitch™ as she was arrested for a fifth time on Friday, and also celebrated her 82nd birthday over the weekend. Jane has already accepted a BAFTA Award while getting arrested, so why not celebrate a birthday the same way?
Jane and her famous friends have been partaking in “Fire Drill Fridays,” a weekly protest against climate change at the Capitol in DC. Before Friday, she was arrested four times. Jane stopped at four arrests for a minute, because she was worried that if she got arrested again she would have to do serious time instead of being released after 24 hours. But don’t worry, those of you who still watch Grace & Frankie, she’ll be able to shoot the next season since she only spent a few hours in the clink on Friday.