In a bit of marketing subgenius, 72-year-old Meat Loaf is now shilling UK Italian restaurant chain Frankie & Benny’s new vegan menu. Because he’s called “Meat” and it’s vegan. GET IT? In an interview with The Daily Mail, Meat claimed that even when he was at his Fight Club‘s “Bitch Tits Bob” heaviest, he was a sex god. He also revealed himself as a climate change denier and says that 16-year-old activist and President Trump irritant Greta Thunberg has been “brainwashed.” No, Meat, that’s not Frankie and Benny’s non-vegetarian offerings cooking that you’re smelling, that’s actually the scent of EVERYONE IN AUSTRALIA BURNING ALIVE IN PART DUE TO CLIMATE CHANGE.
Meat Loaf, who prefaced the interview by noting that “I’m a little spaced out because I’m staying in character, but I’ll do what I can,” says that even when he was heavier and a “M-F,” he was still landing those ladies.
Meat admitted he’s never had a problem getting beautiful women and many of his songs do talk about his love-making prowess.
‘Most of my songs are… well, true,’ he said. ‘They are story songs and I am really good at stories… I am a sex god, dear.
‘I can’t use bad language but people would ask me, “How can a fat M-F like you go out with all these good looking girls?”
What’s the currently-married Meat Loaf’s secret to getting gals beyond selling 80 million records? Chivalry!
‘These days men don’t open the doors, they don’t do anything right. Truthfully, all they go out for is to get laid.
‘I’ve never done that. It’s not my first option; never has been – and that’s why I’ve gone out with all these good looking women.’
In addition to talking about the first threesome he ever had, Meat zig-zagged on us and got into our burning planet and how it’s not really burning and how that Greta Thunberg tyke is just being zombified by social justice warriors to rep their evil agenda.
Meat, who famously worked with President Trump on The Apprentice back in 2010, said he believes there is no such thing as climate change.
‘I feel for that Greta. She has been brainwashed into thinking that there is climate change and there isn’t.
‘She hasn’t done anything wrong but she’s been forced into thinking that what she is saying is true.’
Meat is in constant pain due to four back surgeries he had to have which sucks and maybe he’s on something for the discomfort which coud be why he’s not down with the science on our global inferno. But are you going to tell him that? You don’t want Meat Loaf cursing you out. You wouldn’t like Bitch Tits Bob when he’s angry. (Then again, Greta could probably take him.)