Rolling Stone says we’ve officially reached a new threshold in the point of human existence where we cannot let the dead have even a moment of rest, as Whitney Houston–who passed away in 2012–is going on a full tour. Well, some refracted light machines mimicking her likeness will be going on tour–the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Whitney’s Hologram has announced a 2020 schedule, so get your Ouija Boards ready: it’s time for a tour!
Loathe as I am to put a single solitary dime in the pockets of Whitney Houston’s family or estate given their plans to pimp Nippy out from beyond the grave, I’d be lying if I told you that mere moments ago I wasn’t getting my entire life listening to the just released recording of Whitney singing a cover of Steve Winwood’s 1986 hit Higher Love. In fact, I’m planning my entire summer around it.
Remember when Kevin Costner and the late, lamented Whitney Houston famously starred together in 1992’s blockbuster The Bodyguard? Remember how the striking poster for the romantic thriller depicted Costner carrying Nippy away from danger? In an interview with Entertainment Weekly. Kevin Costner revealed that he wasn’t actually carrying Whitney in the pic.
When Britney Spears needed it the most, a hero came to her defense. Now, despite the fact she’s been dead for 7 long years, Whitney Houston needs her own Chris Crocker and I’m about ready to to go lie in bed with my phone and record myself ugly crying while I scream, “LEAVE WHITNEY ALONE!”
Rolling Stone is reporting that Whitney’s estate is planning on releasing a new album, and sending Whitney out on tour in the form of a mother fucking hologram. I will not, and I cannot, stand for this level of disrespect. I’ve just ordered a ringer T-shirt and sheets to match for my upcoming viral video demanding that somebody put a stop to this blasphemy.
If anyone is going to take advantage of Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston’s marriage, it’s going to be Bobby Brown! Well, that, or New Edition tracks aren’t streaming on Spotify like they used to, and someone needs a check. It has been hard to turn anywhere these days and not find a Whitney documentary. Hell, her own family participated in one that hit movie theaters this past summer. I guess Bobby didn’t like the competition because he’s now trying to sue the pants off Showtime and the BBC for airing a documentary he says had more than a half hour of footage he didn’t say they could use.
Remember that time Kanye West decided he would use Whitney Houston‘s drug-strewn bathroom as the cover art for his labelmate’s album? Bobby Brown does, and he is still not impressed.
BuzzFeed sat down with Bobby for an episode of Profile and he talked about the incident. Kanye spent a reported $85, 000 buying the rights to use the picture of Whitney’s bathroom for Pusha T’s album Daytona. The picture was taken by a family member of Whitney’s in 2006 and it ran in the most elegant and truthful publication of human society: The National Enquirer. So obviously with a prestigious background such as that, Ye absolutely needed to use the photo for a musical endeavor.