With An Assist From Greta Thunberg, “Alpha Male” Andrew Tate’s “Clap Back” Pizza May Have Delivered Him To Romanian Authorities For Questioning About A Human Trafficking Ring
It’s easy to get discouraged by the state of the world in #thesecontinuedtryingtimes, but much like that wise woman of song and science, Dr. Whitney Houston, I too believe the children are our future. After all, Whitney’s paradigm of progenic potential has already come to pass. Case in point: Former child, environmental activist, and 2019’s Time Magazine Person of the Year, Greta Thunberg, now 19, may be single-handedly responsible for facilitating one of the greatest self-own’s in modern history. And in doing so, has successfully neutralized one of the world’s most noxious sources of pollution, “alpha male influencer” Andrew Tate. And as a bonus, she’s taken 33 gas-guzzling automobiles off our roads and into the custody of the Romanian police force.
Open Post: Hosted By The Latest Trailer For The Whitney Houston Biopic “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”
The Whitney Houston biopic I Wanna Dance With Somebody is only a month and a half away from release, and you can best believe there will be millions of dollars made to see Naomi Ackie portray Whitney while performing a grand Lip Sync For Her CAREER! In the first trailer, there was little to go off of other than the fact it looked like something they could have released directly to Netflix. But the second trailer is out, and it’s bigger, brighter, and bouncier with wigs Nippy herself would have scoffed at in disapproval.
Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For The Upcoming Whitney Houston Biopic “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”
For years it has been rumored there would be a feature film depicting Whitney Houston‘s life because people took one look at that Lifetime mess of a movie and knew she deserved much better. So now with a budget that includes proper lighting and somewhat better wigs the trailer for The Whitney Estate-approved biopic I Wanna Dance With Somebody, starring Naomi Ackie, has arrived and it’s giving glamour, despair, and VOCALS! However, since Naomi is lip-syncing throughout the film, somewhere up in heaven Whitney is probably looking down with her trademarked side eye singing “Shut up, just shut up..SHUT UP!”
What we don’t need is for the screenwriter who failed to include Freddie Mercury’s coke dwarf in Bohemian Rhapsody, teaming up with the hologram peddling Houston Estate and Clive fucking Davis to bring us yet another movie about Whitney Houston only this time with the added insult of some poor actress trying to play her. But we’re getting it anyway. 2020 hates us for real.
The trailer for the Whitney Houston hologram tour is here and it is exactly what I thought it was going to be: disappointing and unnecessary. An Evening With Whitney Houston: The Whitney Houston Hologram Tour looks like it would be better if it involved a séance, but instead people will be
grifted gifted to listening to pre-recorded Whitney Houston vocals while watching a phantom semi-look-alike dance around within the 2-dimensional barrier of the hologram’s limited boundaries. Fun!
41-year-old Kobe Bryant, his 13-year-old daughter Gianna were among the nine people who died yesterday when his private helicopter crashed in Calabasas CA. Of course this news was fast-spreading and people were getting so much shit wrong in the confusion, some even reporting more members of Kobe’s family died. One source of info which seemed to be on the mark facts-wise, was TMZ, who broke the story. They broke it so fast, in fact, that the police weren’t able to even notify Kobe’s family before TMZ could notify Twitter. And they’re pissed about it.