I threw the word “supposedly” into that headline, because for all we know, The Sun could’ve hired a Prince Hot Ginge voice-alike for this stunt, and if that’s the case, please have that Prince Hot Ginge voice-alike call me. Just give me time to grab the gallon jug of lube and make some room on my credit card for the $3.99 a minute I’ll probably get charged.
The last time a royal-themed phone prank happened was in 2012 when two Australian radio hosts called King Edward VII Hospital, where Duchess Kate was laid up with pregnancy woes, and pretended to be THE QUEEN and Prince Charles in order to get through to Kate. The nurse who answered the call fell for the prank and transferred them to the nurse attending to Kate. The station aired the prank, and later, the nurse who answered the call tragically died by suicide. In other words, that royal phone prank did not end well. But two Russian pranksters still decided to bust out their own phone prank and put on their best Greta Thunberg and Greta Thunberg’s father voices to trick PHG, and they reportedly got through and talked to him. Will somebody please pay PHG and Meghan Markle another $1 million to speak at their event, because they obviously can’t afford to pay a phone screener and are getting Guy The Beagle to do the job (no offense to Guy The Beagle’s phone-screening skills).
The Sun claims that Russian pranksters, Vladimir Kuznetsov and Alexey Stolyarovi, pretended to be 17-year-old climate change activist Greta Thunberg and her father Svante Thunberg when they spoke with PHG on December 31, 2019 and January 22, 2020 for a grand total of 45 minutes. PHG spoke to them from his Canadian home in Victoria, BC. Vladimir and Alexey tell ABC News that they gave the tapes to The Sun, and I’m guessing that by “gave” they mean “sold.” The conversation was all about climate change and nothing ESCANDALOSO fell out of PHG’s mouth. Shit, what he allegedly whispered to Meghan about his brother Prince William at the Commonwealth Day services was more scandalous and it wasn’t even that scandalous.
If you want, you can fill your ear holes or eyeballs with audio and words from the call here and here. But below are a few quotes, like his thoughts on the moves that Trump is shitting out that push climate change:
“I think the mere fact that Donald Trump is pushing the coal industry is so big in America, he has blood on his hands. Because the effect that has on the climate and the island nations far, far away, again out of sight out of mind. But we’ve visited those places and I’m sure you have as well. People’s lives have been completely destroyed. People are dying every single month by some form of natural disaster created from this huge change in our climate.”
And his thoughts on getting trashed by the media for using private planes:
“It’s amazing. We get accused by them for having to use a plane that was used simply to get away from them and not be followed for a family break. Unfortunately there is very few alternatives. We have to fly on commercial planes all over the world. Nowhere near as much as most people who do it for a night or weekends. We do official overseas visits to Commonwealth countries in support of my grandmother and we have to get there and have to fly, but it is by commercial flights, and occasionally we have to fly privately. Certainly for my family, to protect my family, from these people, as you can well understand.
I have to put protections and safety of my family first and these people are never-ending. As I look out the window here, we’ve had boats with paparazzi taking photographs, trying to get photographs of us while we are far, far away in the middle of nowhere. So they always have a way of finding you. When possible, I will always try and find a means of getting somewhere without them knowing and following us.”
And his thoughts on SUSSEXODUS:
“I can assure you, marrying a Prince or Princess is not all it’s made out to be! But sometimes the right decision isn’t always the easy one. And this decision certainly wasn’t the easy one but it was the right decision for our family, the right decision to be able to protect my son. And I think there’s a hell of a lot of people around the world that can identify and respect us for putting our family first.”
And his thoughts, or lack thereof, on the Prince of Pedophile Island (with Jeffrey Epstein being the King, of course):
“I have very little to say on that. But whatever he has done or hasn’t done, is completely separate from me and my wife. We operate in a way of inclusivity and we are focusing on community. And so we are completely separate from the majority of my family.”
So wait, you’re telling me that I can get PHG on the phone if I catfish him into thinking I’m a 17-year-old girl from Sweden? Yeah, no. Too far, too far. I’m probably on a list for even typing that.
Here’s some of the prank: