Hump on the nanny: Check! Buy a muscle car: Check! Get a symbol for your wandering dick’s newfound freedom tattooed on your back: Check! Ben Affleck¬†isn’t checking all the boxes on the midlife crisis checklist, he’s punching that shit.¬†This is a midlife crisis on Monster energy drink-infused roids.
After shooting scenes for Live By Night in L.A. yesterday, Ben Affleck was walking back to his trailer when the paparazzi got a picture of the enormous phoenix tattoo covering his back. It looks like a Meat Loaf album cover shat up all over his back. A few months ago, the paps got a picture of what looked like Ben Affleck’s tramp stamp, but he didn’t get a tramp stamp. He got a phoenix rising from the ashes (get it?) inked into his back skin.¬†It’s the douche with the phoenix tattoo.
Apparently, the tattoo isn’t fake. UsWeekly says that it’s real and it’s spectacular!
And the telling body art ‚ÄĒ the phoenix, of course, is a mythological creature and a symbol of rebirth and reinvention ‚ÄĒ is the real deal, a source confirms to Us Weekly.
That’s the kind of tattoo you get when you’re a¬†newly single 40-something dude and you pull up to a tattoo shop in a yellow sports car with your 20-something girlfriend. You don’t even have to say anything to the tattoo artist. They know that you want the midlife crisis special and they also know that you’re probably going to come back in later to get something pierced, so they give¬†you a coupon for that. I can’t wait to see pictures of Ben Affleck busting out some moves in the middle of an EDM festival while wearing a sleeveless Affliction t-shirt.
With that being said, I still would.