People Are Signing Up To Storm Area 51 In September

July 13, 2019 / Posted by:

File this under: Shit Bored People Do. Because you really have to be bored out of your damn mind to want to take a pilgrimage to Area 51, better known as the place the government allegedly hides all their secret information about aliens.

More than likely this is one big hoax. But then again, this is America 2019 and people love to post strange shit for clicks and likes. So far, according to CNN, there are over three hundred thousand people who have decided they want to see exactly what’s going on down in Nevada by storming Area 51. I’m sure the fact that it’s a classified government site isn’t going to stop them from their mission either. Because who needs bulletproof vests when you can withstand a hail of gunfire by adopting a raid style based off of a beloved anime series. Yes, you read that right.

The event, titled “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us,” is inviting users from around the world to join a “Naruto run” — a Japanese manga-inspired running style featuring arms outstretched backwards and heads forward — into the area.
“We can move faster than their bullets,” the event page, which is clearly written with tongue in cheek, promises those who RSVP for September 20.

See, this is how really bad ideas begin. Because even if this is just a huge joke I can guarantee you there’s at least one person thinking to themselves, “Hmmmm….maybe we CAN storm the gates by running like Naruto.” That one person will be the fool who starts a different group called “No Really, Let’s Storm Area 51.” And of course, over on Twitter, folks are already preparing for the aftermath of idiots showing up to Nevada for a once in a lifetime chance to get shot by the government.

And speaking of Twitter, there’s even an official page dedicated to the Area 51 march on September 20. And you know this probably started when some really high dude was with his friends while watching Naruto and blurted out, “Yo, we could probably run like that past the guards to see them aliens in Area 51.” Keep aiming high, y’all. Because if you don’t see any aliens on September 20, your consolation prize will be seeing Jesus instead.


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