Today In Not-Great Decisions: Nicki Minaj Performed For A Dictator

December 20, 2015 / Posted by:

Thanks to a little thing called The Internet, finding out if you’re about to perform for a dictator-type has never been easier. For example, you could throw their name into a search engine with the words “is maybe a dictator?” and see what comes up. Or you could use email and see if you receive any concerned emails from human rights groups with the subject line: “So I heard you’re about to perform for a dictator…“. Or, if you’re Nicki Minaj, you say “Fuck it” and perform for the dictator anyway.

The Daily Mail says that the possessed Crank Yankers puppet joined Mariah Carey’s Make That Angolan Dictator Money Club yesterday by performing at a Christmas party hosted by Unitel, a company part-owned by Angolan dictator-type José Eduardo dos Santos. Although really, even if the Daily Mail wasn’t saying shit about it, we’d still know she did it, thanks to the whole mess of pictures she threw up on Instagram before and after the show. Like the one of her wrapped in the Angolan flag (see above), or posing with José Eduardo dos Santos’ daughter and richest woman in Africa, Isabel dos Santos.

But maybe Nicki didn’t know she was performing for shady people? Well….I don’t know. According to the Daily Mail, human rights groups side-eyed her decision to do so and claimed that her performance was “an endorsement” of President dos Santos’ authoritarian rule. But they don’t say whether they told her before hand or not? Today I learned: human rights groups are totally that friend of yours who don’t warn you that the dude you’re about to bone will leave you with a rash on your business until after you ask them to come with you to pick up a tube of coochie cream.

Speaking of money, the Daily Mail says Nicki went home with a check for $2 million. When Mimi performed for the dos Santos family, she only got $1 million. And there’s your proof that the dos Santos family is dark-sided and corrupt; paying Nicki Minaj $2 million, but stiffing a glittering cotton candy goddess like Mariah Carey with a paltry $1 million? EVIL!

Here’s a couple pics of Nicki arriving in Luanda, Angola yesterday (courtesy of Nicki herself), as well as her wearing what appears to be the funeral-appropriate version of Brit Brit’s Toxic bodysuit.

Pics: Instagram

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