Amy Wino has probably tried to smoke almost every person, place or thing on this planet. You name it, she has tried to smoke it up. If you live in London, check your ass for burn marks. I’m sure Wino tried to smoke you up after you passed out in a club. If she can light it, she’ll try it! This is why I’m a little surprised that Wino hasn’t smoked on banana skins before! She found her new favorite fix in St. Lucia!

According to the Daily Star (via M&C), Wino was trolling around the island when she ran into a group of locals smoking banana skins. The locals knew that a fool with a craving for the high life wandered into their lives, so they probably seized the opportunity to make some coin and sold her ass a couple of banana skins you can get off a stupid tree! Wino bought whatever they were selling and now she’s in love.

A source said, “She made sure there wasn’t anything really bad in them because she’s being so good now. They made one in front of her using dried strings from the inside of the peel instead of tobacco and putting it onto a piece of rolling paper. She loved it and has taken to drying her own peel in the sun and smoking it in the evening.”

I’ve never heard of this shit either, so now I’m looking at the half-rotten banana on my kitchen counter like it’s the key to taking me higher this afternoon. And here I thought that the only good use for nana skins was to make your asshole smell like Bananas Fosters after a b-fuck. I’m glad to hear there’s another use for them!

After doing some extensive research (aka Google followed by two clicks), I found out how to make banana skins your new nightly best friend. Although, this shit sound like it’s work! I think I’ll just stick to ordering my shit for delivery.

Here’s some pics of the premiere Nannerhead of St. Lucia with her bodyguard and some locals yesterday.

If you watch So You Think You Can Dance?, then you know one of the show’s choreographers Alex Da Silva. Well, you don’t know him THAT well since I’m sure you never thought this motherfucker has rapey hands. Allegedly. The LAPD threw Alex into a jail cell after four of his dance students came forward claiming he had sexually assaulted them between May 2003 and March of this year.

The four women said Alex lured them back to his house in North Hollywood, tricked them into going into his bedroom and then raped them. The LAPD also said they think there’s other victims out there.

Alex was arrested on Saturday and is currently marinating his sick ass in a cell on $3.8 million.

You can’t trust a bitch with fugly eyebrows who teaches salsa dancing on reality TV. This is so fucking random and gross. I feel like I should burst into one of Mary Murphy’s signature screeches of terror.

Source: Associated Press

The Iowa State Supreme Court ruled this morning that a ban on same-sex marriage is gross and struck that motherfucker down! That bitch got banished back to the dark ages. This will make Iowa the fourth state that allows gays and lesbians to attach a ball and chain to their ankles legally! Hoo-RAY!

The Associated Press summed up the Supreme Court’s ruling: “The court reaffirmed that a statute inconsistent with the Iowa constitution must be declared void even though it may be supported by strong and deep-seated traditional beliefs and popular opinion.”

The court’s ruling will take around 21 days to be made final. The Polk County Attorney said they would not ask for a rehearing, so gays and lesbians could start getting married in just a few weeks!

You know, when I first saw Austin Scarlett’s corn husk dress on Project Runway, I knew this would be the perfect ensemble for Mah Boo Anderson Cooper to wear to our wedding. It goes with the dazzling silver field on his head.

Now that Iowa is close to marrying the gays, Mah Boo in a wedding outfit made from corn is meant to be! Yeah, I know you’re thinking I should wear that, but he has the legs for it. And don’t worry! He’s going to butch it up by pairing it with leggings and a blazer made out of corn kernels. I’ll wear something made out of hay or oats. It’ll be the perfect Iowa wedding! Now I just have to figure out how I’m going to get him to lift that restraining order against me. He’s always playing hard to get!

Building a motorized bar stool (with a wheelie bar!!) seems like a genius idea. You just get on, go to the bar, drive inside, booze your troubles away and then head on home. Your lazy ass doesn’t even need to move off the seat! That’s what 28-year-old Kile Wygle of Ohio probably thought to himself until he failed by crashing that shit near his house. Because he wasn’t driving one of those car things, Kile probably thought he outsmarted the po pop and wouldn’t get in trouble. So he called 911, because he kind of fucked himself up when he crashed.

The Smoking Gun says that when the cops arrived, Kile pointed to his homemade hillbilly ride and said he wrecked his bar stool. Kile also admitted that he could go around 40mph on the thing if he wanted to, but was only going 20 when he ate it. Kile failed a bunch of sobriety tests and told the cops he had a lot of booze in his body. He was arrested and charged with DUI and driving with a suspended license.

Kile deserves to get the stool thrown at him in court! And the stool shoved up him in jail, because when the cops started giving his bar stool mobile the side-eye, he should’ve known something was up. That’s when he should’ve slowly backed away from his contraption and said, “Um. Did I say that was mine? Yeah, I’m kind of cloudy in the head from falling and all. I’ve never seen that before in my life. The bar stool isn’t mine!” He needs to watch more Cops!

Kile also needs to take this shit to the next level. Fuck the motorized bar stool! Build me a motorized bar….and a motorized bed….and a motorized toilet, so I never have to walk again!

Kids these days. They spend a few hours watching TV and it starts to give them ideas. Ideas which lead them to the roof of their parents’ house with a can of white paint in hand and a big dick on their mind. That’s how it went for 18-year-old Rory McInnes of England.

After watching a documentary on Google Earth, Rory was inspired to spend 30-minutes painting a true-to-size homage to Prince Hot Ginge’s peen (I wish) on the roof of his parents $2 million house. Rory based the mega peen on the Cerne Abbas Giant. Rory never told anyone about the peen on the roof, in fact it took his parents a full year to find out.

A helicopter pilot spotted the giant wang, took pictures of it and contacted The Sun. The Sun in turn contacted Rory’s dad and let him know that he’s been living with a juicy cock over his head for the past 12-months. Bitches were getting teabagged and didn’t even know it!

Rory’s dad immediately called his son, who was traveling in Brazil, to yell at his ass. Rory cocked, I mean, copped to it and just shrugged it off. Rory agreed to wash off his masterpeen when he gets back.

You know, Rory gets a taint lick for effort, but he could’ve spent more time on the nutsack. It’s a huge, thick cock with tiny shriveled up prunes. Not right. If you’re going to do it, do it right. Put some low hangers on that dong.

It’s also a good thing that Parasite Hilton never flew over that house within the past 12-months. That skank would’ve thrown herself from the plane and landed on that dick. They would’ve had to rent a crane to pry her pussy lips off of it!

Celebwhores riding invisible bicycles thanks to Photoshop. Well, except for Jakey G, he can naturally float like that – Holy Taco

Google Nay Nay Semel, you dumb fuck and it will tell you the Muppet is in rehab – Scandalist

When Morrissey rips his shirt off, the teenage Emo chola inside of me passes out – Towleroad

Orlando Bloom chopped his mop – Popsugar

Nasty piece of bacon fat in Complex – Popoholic

Bree Olson freaks out on the radio (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

American Idol’s Bikini Skank should just get on the Bang Bus already never come back – Egotastic!

Did Nicole Richie get knocked up just to help her new ugly ass maternity line? – Lainey Gossip

Blake Lively & Penn Badgley’s dinner threesome with Harvey Weinstein – Just Jared

Hayden Panettiere gives us a view of her troll pecs – Hollywood Tuna

Cheetoling in two – Hollywood Rag

Madamism on the rise – Cityrag