The third remake of A Star Is Born has been in the works for what feels like a century. Clint Eastwood was originally going to direct and he wanted his beloved empty chair to star as the Judy Garland/Barbra Streisand role (if only). Clint wanted Beyonce and when Beyonce checked out due to “scheduling conflicts,” he started talking to Esperanza Spalding about the role. Pepaw Clint could never get the remake out of “development hell,” because he couldn’t get a big name to sign on to the male lead. Clint tried to get Leonardo DiCaprio, Russell Crowe, Tommy Cruise, Will Smith, Gerard Butler and Christian Bale, but all of them dropped a big messy NO on that offer. Clint eventually got over that shit and dropped out as director. Bradley Cooper decided that he wanted to be the one to butcher A Star Is Born, so he signed on as director and the male lead. Beyonce was once again thinking about bringing her flawless acting skills to the remake, but she turned it down for good, because she apparently costs too much. And now it looks like Lady Gaga is going to do it. A Mess Is Born is back on track!

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I’ve always thought that wearing overalls SANS SHIRT is only okay if you’re a member of Dexys Midnight Runners and the year is 1981, or if you’re Minnie Riperton and the year is 1974, or if you’re Jordan Knight and the year is anytime, or if you’re a hillbilly toddler trying to catch crawfish with a tree stick fishing rod in a creek outside of your memaw’s house. But Heidi Klum obviously doesn’t agree with me, because yesterday in NYC, she slapped on a pair of anti-chaffing nipple pads (I’m guessing) and slid on a pair of overalls to bring some “Come On Eileen” glamour to the streets. (By the way, while doing research for this highly important post, I found out that there’s no coma in the title “Come On Eileen.” That song has taken on a whole new meaning for me.)

On one hand, I am into this 70s mess for the simple fact that Heidi isn’t wearing a choker. It seems like every famous trick nowadays has been ruining the 90s for me by wearing a choker with every single outfit they wear. So I’m thankful that Heidi kept this ensemble choker-free. But on the other hand, Heidi’s outfit makes me want to slap on a choker and a red wig to channel Clueless’ best character Ambular as I say, “She could be a farmer in those clothes.”

Pics: Wenn.com

Last week, Stephanie Seymour schooled the children of today on what a supermodel is. According to Stephanie, the popular-on-Instagram and reality TV models of today – namely Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid – don’t deserve the title of “supermodel.” Instead, she suggests they write “bitches of the moment” in the job section of their resume. Kendall Jenner must have finally tracked down someone who was able to read Stephanie’s comments to her, because she came out and said that she does not appreciate being called a BOTM.

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One day after the mass shooting in Orlando, Diplo, the DJ who once said he was going to start a Kickstarter to buy Taylor Swift an ass, posted a note on Instagram about how the Orlando club scene is special to him because it’s where he became himself:

I grew up in the clubs in Orlando . It’s where I went when I first left my parents house after high school.. I got fascinated w music and learned quickly . It was easily the most sophisticated club scene in America for a long time. Places like icon and Firestone and cyberZone.. As a kid in rural road Florida I would drive an hour home late night after going to see a dj or a band. The worst thing that could happen is the cops might shut down a rave. Some of us only had these places to go to get away from our shitty jobs waiting tables at restaurants or Disney or mowing lawns or parking cars. It could be any of our children enjoying themselves feeling safe in a moment like this with their life taken by a random violent act. These are the places where I work everyday and it’s sad and confusing that the one place where you can be yourself and leave everything outside for a moment can be taken from us. I grew up in a beautiful place in Florida and I wouldn’t be the person I am if it wasn’t for the diversity I experienced as a kid. I pray that this is he last time I have to read a story like the one about pulse night club

The same day he put up that note, Diplo told rapper Angel Haze in a tweet that he’s “only half gay“:

@AngelHaze I’m only half gay and I don’t play guitar let’s hang

— dip (@diplo) June 14, 2016

I’m all for calling yourself whatever you want to call yourself, but the fuck is half gay? Diplo didn’t explain and he’s got my brain searching for an explanation. Is that his way of saying he’s bi-sexual? Or is it his way of saying that he’s a straight/gay centaur and only one half of him is gay? If so, which half is gay? The bottom or top? I don’t know, but I do know that every time I type or read the term “half-gay,” I immediately start singing, “half-gaaaaay,” to the tune of Cher’s Half-Breed. And that makes me proudly full-gay!

Here’s the openly half-gay DJ at the iHeartRadio Music Awards last April:

Pics: Instagram, Wenn.com

I should probably clarify that those are two separate conversations. I’m sure I just let down a couple weirdos who got all tingly at the thought of Amy Schumer getting scissory with Jennifer Lawrence. Apologies to you, weirdos. You’ll have to go back to picturing Amy on Lily Tomlin’s coochie, I guess.

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Seen above inhaling the silicone-encrusted fart that finally escaped from in between Kim Kartrashian’s ass cheeks after hours of struggling, Taylor Swift was supposedly pissed when Kanye West claimed that she approved a lyric he wrote about her. In a track called “Famous” from Kanye’s latest album, The Life of Pablo, there’s a lyric that goes, “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex, I made that bitch famous.” Kanye claimed that Taylor was not only okay with the lyric, she came up with it and laughed at it. Taylor’s rep claimed that she never okay’d it and definitely didn’t come up with the idea. And at the Grammys, Taylor gave a “GIRL POWAH” speech that was obviously directed at her forever arch rival Kanye West. Well, now Kim is saying that Taylor should change her name to TayLIES, because she did approve that lyric and there’s video footage that proves it. Dun dun dun!

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